Enough is Enough!

I am so over the fact that women cannot run without fear.  I am so beyond mad that when I go out and run, I have to be on constant guard.  I am angry that I often choose to run on my treadmill because I'm not in the mood to deal with jerks and possible assaulters and killers. Why do I have to forgo what I love (running outside) because a terrible person can't properly live in society??

When I awoke yesterday morning, I felt the need and desire to get outside in fresh air and hit the pavement.  I mentally prepared my course so that I would be in areas where cars and people are.  I felt a tad fearful, but, honestly, I am so tired of living scared.  I no longer want to be held back by someone else's choices.  

Two of my children were at our home and before I left, I texted them my exact route and time I would be gone.  I placed my Air Pods in and chose what I would listen to as I ran. I was conscience about making sure my podcast was low enough that I could easily hear my surroundings.  I am not one to get lost in what I am listening to, as I am constantly monitoring my surroundings to make certain I am safe.

My route was to take me around a set of neighborhoods.  It's almost as if I was going to run the shape of a box to get back to my home.  The route has nice sidewalks that are wide enough and visible to anyone driving by.  I liked this because no one could be hiding in the trees without being seen.

I set off for my run and fell quickly into my groove.  I felt nice and safe because many cars were driving by.  I was finally starting to settle in and feeling safe.  I could tell this was the case because my breathing was even and my shoulders were nice and relaxed.

As I turned onto the next street, I heard a truck honk.  I immediately turned and looked.  It was a large white truck and as it drove by, the driver stared at me like I was his candy.  Gross, I thought!  However, there were other cars around so I didn't feel alarmed.  I did feel very annoyed, though.  Why do some men think it's okay to do this to women?!

I continued to run, albeit less relaxed. About 5-7 minutes later, a black truck pulled up next to me and was driving very slowly.  The passenger turned and was hanging halfway out the passenger side window.  He was whistling and saying raunchy things.  I immediately scanned the area and there were no cars in sight.  There was a golf course to my right and not a golfer was on the green.  I felt fear overtake me.  Tears began to fill my eyes and then, in an instant, I was filled with anger and rage.  I raised my right arm in the air and shot the finger at them. I then threw both hands in the air and screamed as loudly as I could.  This must have startled the men because they sped off.  

There was a side street up ahead and I feared they would be parked on it and grab me as I ran by.  I contemplated calling my son to come pick me up.  I chose not to because I'm just so stinkin' tired of women going through this.  Thankfully, cars, once again, began driving by in both directions.

I continued on my run with a force of anger so strong.  I am angry that I can't run without this happening.  I am filled with rage at the thought of women being assaulted, kidnapped, and murdered just because some insane being thinks it's his right.

Leave us the hell alone! I am on a mission to bring awareness to this. Enough is enough!  Women should be afforded our right to go into the world and run safely and without incident.  We shouldn't have to choose a treadmill because we are scared for our lives. Our families shouldn't have to worry every time we leave for a run. My children have asked me not to run outside anymore because they are so afraid someone will harm, or worse yet, kill their mama.  

To bring awareness to this epidemic, I will be writing a post each week to honor a woman who has lost her life while innocently out running.  My goal is to bring awareness to what women face each time they step out of the door with laced up shoes and a heart ready to get some milage in.  Within time, I may turn it into a podcast.

I also have an idea of a product that will help protect women and allow them to get help quickly. I am researching how to approach companies and get their backing. I am talking with an attorney on the best way to get this accomplished.

Please stay vigilant while running. Let others know your routes and estimated time you will return home.  Carry mace and keep your music low.

Lastly, please don't think it won't ever happen to you. I am a 52 year old woman. Deranged men don't care your age, stature, weight, busyness of the route you are on, etc.  

Love to you all and happy AND safe running!

💗,

Marci

Leave Us Alone

The world and running community have been awakened, once again, to the dangers of running for women.  I'm sure men, to some extent, encounter certain harassment as well.  My son has been honked at, yelled at, and had the middle finger aggressively shown to him while minding his business on a run.  My other son has had pancakes thrown at him (not going to lie-that one made us giggle a bit.  If you knew my son, you'd laugh too. He could write a book on things that he has done and things that have happened to him.)  I'm a woman.  I know the fears in my head, the precautions I must take before and during each run, and how frustrating it is.  I write this as a woman.

Prior to each run, I stop and listen to how I'm feeling.  Am I feeling uneasy about this outdoor run?  Will there be enough people around during my run?  Is the area I'm running populated?  Eight times out of ten I end up choosing my treadmill.  My choice is not because I choose to live in fear.  It's not because I am choosing to allow what if's to rule my life.  My choice is because I know fear.  

Many, if not most of us, have a story to share of something extremely scary that has happened to us while on a run.  Often, we don't share with anyone besides our family.  

I want to finally share my story.  It's time we speak up and out for the dangers we face on a daily basis.  I have held this one in because I wanted to forget it.  It scared the living daylights out of me and, honestly, I feel shaky now just thinking of the story.

It was December of 2022.  The day was a Saturday and my husband, daughter, and youngest son were home.  I noticed it was a beautiful day out and was perfect weather for a run.  It was my long run day and I mapped out the course I would take to get in my 8-9 miles.  I was so happy!  I chose my favorite running skirt, my blue long sleeve running shirt, and, of course, my Hoka Mach 5's.  I was bouncing around the house as I pulled up my playlist and sucked down some electrolytes.  

Prior to leaving, I let my family know my route in case I needed them.  This was routine in case I fell, felt sick, or just needed them.  I said goodbye and headed out my back door.  As I was in the backyard, I turned on my Garmin watch and waited for the GPS to load.  I turned on my running playlist and began singing as I did my warm-ups.  I made sure the music was not too loud so I could hear my surroundings.

Once my GPS was loaded and my legs and body were warmed up, I stepped out of my backyard onto my driveway.  I'm certain I even had a smile on my face, as I love running in beautiful weather and my playlist was already pumping me up.

As I got to the street, I began my run.  It felt good right away.  It didn't take long to get into my groove.  Everything felt right that day.  My body felt loose, my feet were hitting the ground at a good pace, and my breathing was steady.  Dare I say it felt perfect?

That day my run was taking me through our neighborhood and across an intersection into the other side of our neighborhood. Once on the other side of the neighborhood, there is a bridge going over a ditch that leads to a trail behind the local elementary school and high school.  The trail ultimately leads to a small college campus.  I always loved to run through the campus, as it is surrounded by trees and I often get glimpses and close up views of the beautiful deer that inhabit the area. 

As I ran along the backside of the trail, the deer were out in full force across the waterway.  I marveled at their beauty and we watched each other as I ran.  Pure joy! I was definitely in my happy place.

The end of the trail runs into the college campus that I had planned to run around.  There is a big loop that circles the buildings.  One end of the loop empties onto a main street that I usually run down to add more mileage.  

As I got on the back of the loop, I heard a car behind me.  I turned to look and saw a black car coming up behind me.  I didn't think anything of it, as I assumed it would pass me as is always the case.  It did not pass me and came up right behind me and followed me.  It wasn't close enough that I felt it was going to hit me.  However, it was definitely close enough that it was obvious that it was following me.  

My adrenaline kicked in full force.  I scanned the area and it was just me and the car.  I turned to look at the car again so I could take in what the car looked like and see the driver and possible passengers.  The windows were tinted so dark that I couldn't even make out the driver, let alone determine if anyone else was in the car. 

To my left sat a very large parking lot with a building at the far end.  I decided to turn into the parking lot.  I needed to move away from the car and see if I truly was being followed.  As soon as I turned into the parking lot, the car turned in and continued to follow right behind me.  I quickly pulled  my phone from my arm band and called my husband.  I was sprinting as fast as I could go.  I turned to look at the car again.  I wanted them to see I was on the phone and get the license plate number.

I was in a state of panic. And, my husband didn't answer his phone.  As I was pushing my phone screen to call my daughter, the car slowly turned and drove away.  My daughter answered as I was running into the building.  The first set of doors opened, but the set that gave entrance to the building were locked.  I crouched down and tried to tell my daughter what was happening.  She was screaming for my husband.  As I was on the phone with my daughter, my husband ran out the door to come get me.  

While waiting for my husband, I noticed the car come back and drive very slowly through the parking lot.  It drove right up to the building and it was obvious the driver was looking for me.  By this point, I was on the phone with my husband.  I was crying hysterically.

It took about 7 minutes for my husband to arrive.  It felt like an hour.  He told me he sped and ran red lights.  By the time he arrived, the car was gone.  I ran to my husband's car and was a mess.  I was shaking and struggled to speak.  He drove around a bit to see if he could see the car.  Honestly, I just wanted to get home to safety.

The car was nowhere to be found.

When I got home, I immediately called the police.  They were so kind and helpful.  They called me back a few times to ask for more details and gave me updates.  I was surprised, but kind of not, to learn that I was not the first person to report suspicious activity involving this car.  No one, including me, had obtained a license plate number.  The car did not have a plate on the front bumper.

Many people, including my family, have asked why I didn't call the police first.  I truly don't know.  I was in a state of shock and in full fledge panic mode.  All I wanted was my family, my rocks, my security.

I no longer run that route.  I have had to give up the beauty of the route, the peaceful deer, and the serenity it gave me because some people are cruel and evil.  I now run most runs on my treadmill.  On the days I go out, I stay in very populated areas.  This makes me sad.  However, I'd rather be safe.

So many people have asked what can be done to correct this.  

We can carry mace, alarms, or run with a group.  I read an article recently that claimed that 1% of women are now carrying guns when they run.  In full disclosure, my husband really wants me to be a part of the 1%.  He, too, felt fear that day.  He was angry and was ready to fight.  I'm not ready to be a gun toting runner...yet.  

Sadly, the violence will never completely end. We live in a world that houses evil people.  However, I think by bringing awareness to the problem we can stand together.  

Here are ways I believe speaking up and standing together can help:

1. Awareness is power.  The more we voice what we have experienced, the more aware other runners will be.  

2. We will be more conscious about looking out for one another. If something seems suspicious, check it out.  Don't think it will make you look silly if all is well.  It's better to look silly and have everyone safe.

3. ALWAYS tell someone your route and the time you will return.  If you do not return safely, the authorities can be notified immediately.  

In order to spread awareness and honor those who have been harmed or killed while running, I am going to start posting a case about one runner each week.  I have thought about turning it into a Podcast.  If you guys are like me, I'd rather listen to a case.  I am 100% open to feedback and case suggestions.

Click here to read the article I referenced above.

Regardless of where I have to run, I will never stop. It's my joy and I refuse to let that be stolen from me!

Please stay safe and aware!  Happy running!

💗,

Marci