Over the past few weeks, I have noticed a number of people shaming others for the body they occupy, running paces, race times, food intake, and on and on. I am baffled by the rudeness and boldness and have thoughts on this.
1. Why do some people feel the need to shame others? I am flabbergasted by the audacity of an imperfect human (newsflash-we are all imperfect!) to critique and criticize another human. This treatment of others is rooted in pride. When someone feels the need to point out what they view as not good enough, reveals so much about the commenter. Bottom line...insecure people put others down to build themselves up.
2. Hiding behind a screen to spat ugliness is weak. When I was a kid and someone would say something unkind behind another's back, it often made it's way to the person being talked about. The popular saying of the time was, "Say it to my face!" As you can imagine, when confronted, the naysayer usually denied the comment or apologized. Not many people like confrontation and it was often avoided. So many people find it easy to type a comment and then walk away with puffed up pride and a false sense of importance. This is for the people who find it necessary to type unsolicited rude advice and comments - would you say it to their faces?
3. A person's words reveal a mountain about them, but nothing about the receiver of the words. When my children were growing up and someone would say something that was uncalled for to them, I would always remind them that words reveal the character of the talker, not the one being talked to. What we say reveals a great deal about our character. As my dad would often say to me, "Consider the source."
At some point in time, we will all be on the receiving end of ugliness. In truth, it can feel like a sucker punch. For a moment or two, we question if the words are truth. The old chant, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is hogwash. Words hurt. Period.
When this happens, it's okay to acknowledge the pain but then get back up and wipe yourself off. Don't give the person the job of determining your worth and character. That position is closed! Look around you and take in all the good in your life. Notice your loved ones and friends. Be thankful for all your body can, and does do for you. Remind yourself that ugly words define the other person, not you. Know that it must stink to live inside that person's head. To be so crass and rude must be a miserable way to live.
Lastly, I refer to those who find it necessary to make rude comments as having the bulldog mentality. (Disclaimer - I am a HUGE dog lover! In no way am I being rude about a particular breed of dog. Give me any dog any day and you'll see a happy girl!) This means they are so weak inside they must portray themselves as bigger than they feel. Putting others down and pursuing dominance is a classic sign of insecurity. Don't allow someone's insecurity to shadow, or worse yet, steal your security.
I'll end with the saying we've all heard since we were innocently toddling around:
Love well!
Marci
