Friday, December 5, 2014

The art of marriage {A list of tips}

My husband and I have been married for over 19 years.  We were babies when we started dating and toddlers when we married.  We have grown up together.  With any growth, there have been pains and great celebrations.

While some of our memories are painful, I certainly wouldn't trade them because they are what grew our hearts more towards Jesus.  We have had to learn that marriage is not about pleasing ourselves or even the other person.  It is about pleasing and honoring Jesus.  When Jesus is the focus of a marriage, it can't help but blossom and grow in love.

I have compiled a list of helpful tips that will move marital hearts towards agape love.

*Do not act on feelings.  Feelings are fleeting and can misdirect our words and actions.  When you are feeling angry, jealous, grumpy, frustrated, etc. take a breather before you speak words.

*Grow your relationship with Jesus.  He will create a heart that desires to give more than it receives.

*Pray for each other every single day.  

*Pray for your marriage.  Pray for a hedge of protection to be placed around each other and pray that your love will deepen with each day.

*Strive to please each other daily.  If you know your spouse enjoys hot tea in the morning, make it for them without being asked.  Small gestures go a long way.

*Discover each other's love language.  Stay aware of it and speak the language daily.

*Flirt with your spouse.  Just because you are married, doesn't mean you can't flirt.  In fact, you should be flirting more now than when you were dating.

*Speaking of dating, plan dates often.  When our children were younger and it was hard to get away, our dates consisted of putting the kids to bed and watching a movie.

*Laugh together.  Remember not to take life too seriously.

*Do not give your spouse anything to be jealous of.  

*Honor your spouse with your words, actions, and reactions.

*Don't ever speak ugly about your spouse...ever.  Keep disagreements between the two of you.  

*Remember that love isn't always gushy. You won't have butterflies every single day.  But a Christ centered marriage will always have deep, unconditional love.

*Let go of hurts and move on.  Do not hold on to arguments and never use them against your spouse.

*Don't forget to kiss and hug each other every day.  

*Keep the romance alive.  You know what your spouse likes, don't fail to do it because of laziness or being tired.

*Brag about your spouse in front of your spouse.

*Share secrets together.

A marriage full of love and appreciation is truly an art.  It is beautiful and cannot be replicated with anyone else.  It is one of the greatest gifts that God gives us.  Cherish it and guard it with all that you have.  



  1. This was wonderful, sweet Marci. Just the other day I was telling my husband how much my love daily grows for him and how each year of marriage only gets better - it truly is a blessing.

    Thank you for these thoughts and wisdom. Hugs to you!

  2. I love this list, Marci. It is such a privilege to be a wife! I love learning new ideas of how to encourage my husband. Thank you for this.
    "What God has joined together, let man not separate." (Mark 10:9)

  3. Marci, you are a blessing...always. I'm enjoying working on my Psalm 23 study sheet. ;-) I enjoyed reading here about marriage. It is a privilege to share life with my husband. We have been married 42 years and it only gets better! Have you read Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Marriage? It is really good also. We are just finishing up Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages...which was also very insightful.

    May you have a blessed weekend!

  4. Sitting here nodding! ! Great tips - so full of truth. These are the sort of things that have kept my marriage going for 22 years. Have a wonderful weekend friend!

  5. I love this post! I am so thankful for couples like you who are such an inspiration for what marriage is supposed to be. And by the way, you both still look like "babies" in that picture. Just adorable! I hate that Eddie and I seem to have experienced more than our fair share of pain in the last few years, but I hope that one day when we look back on these times, we can also remember lots of good times too and will have learned to love each other even more for all that we went through together. Thank you so much for the great tips and reminders to keep our focus on Jesus and on one another!

  6. What great advice! I am hoping that once this surgery that I should have tomorrow is over that I will be able to focus more on my blog and other blogs I love. Just having a hard time this week focusing. Thanks for the prayers!~ Lisa :O)


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