The Idolatry Cleanse

I have discovered that God is in control.

No newsflash, I know.  But for someone who likes order, schedules, and yes, control I have had to surrender to this fact and learn to be obedient with my trust.

Sound familiar?

I said I trusted God, but did I really?  I held my hands out to Him, but I kept a few fingers curled in holding onto what I thought I needed control of.

I held onto my kids too tightly.

I held onto my marriage too tightly.

I held onto my health too tightly.

I held onto my appearance too tightly.

I held onto my plans too tightly.

What's your list?  What are you holding too tightly to?

Here's the truth-
When we hold on too tightly to people, things, ideas, etc., we have created idols.  When we seek control, we have created an idol.  We are placing more trust in ourselves and our ability to control over trusting God and allowing Him to lead us.

Ugh....

I read the stories in the Bible of the people creating idols to worship and I think, "No way!  What were they thinking??  Who would idolize and worship a golden object?"

And then the Holy Spirit convicts me.  He shows me my golden objects.  They may not be literal golden objects, but I sure have made them golden in my life.  They are the shiny things that I devote more attention to than God.  They are the things that - dare I say - I worship.  That list I shared above...you guessed it, my idols.

Idolatry - the religious worship of idols...excessive or blind adoration, reverence, devotion, etc. (dictionary.com)

God warns us in Exodus about idolatry.  Let's see what He says.

Exodus 20:4-5

Do not make an idol for yourself, whether in the shape of anything in the heavens above or on the earth below or in the waters under the earth.  You must not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.

One of the first words that pops out to me is the word "anything".  God leaves no room for question.  Anything, anywhere is off limits.  God is the only One we are to worship, glorify, bow down to, and devote our hearts to.  He makes Himself quite clear.  

Ever have to do this with someone?  You know they will ask a million and one questions so you lay out all possibilities and leave no wiggle room.  Yeah, that's what God did with us.  He knows we will justify and find loop holes.  By spelling out His command with great detail He stopped us in our tracks.  

God does not instruct us to avoid idol worship because He is insecure and needs our attention.  He is not power hungry and controlling.  Those things are not love.  God warns us against idolatry because He is fully aware what happens to our hearts when we are in the thick - or really even the thin - of it.  He knows when we are in idol worship, our hearts and minds are not filled with His precious peace.  We look to something or someone to bring us security and worth.  Those things never do.  I can promise you that.

So we read in God's words that we are not to have idols of any kind, but what can we do to protect our hearts and minds from developing and worshipping them? 

I have created a list to help us not be burdened with idols and live in freedom and joy.  

The Idolatry Cleanse

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal idols you have created on a daily basis.
2. Listen to the Holy Spirit and be receptive about what He tells you.  If you ask, He will answer but you must open your heart to hear Him.
3. Foster an intimate relationship with Jesus.  The more you look to Him, talk to Him, and rely on Him, the less likely you are to look elsewhere.
4. Renew your mind daily with Scripture reading.  
5. Clean out your life - remove anything that leads you to idol worship.

To be most effective, this list must be done on a daily basis.  In order to recognize and combat idols, we must be intimately connected to Jesus.  To be intimately connected means to develop and pursue a relationship with Him. 

When are in deep communion with Jesus, our hearts long most for Him.  Let that be our goal...

May Jesus never say about us that we exchanged the truth of God for a lie , and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator. (Romans 1:25)

Rather may He say well done, good and faithful servant! (Matthew 25:21)

Idolatry is an ugly that tries to suck us in with a mask of beauty.  Don't fall for it.  Gaze upon Jesus' beautiful face and be awed by Him in such a way that any hint of idolatry turns your stomach.  

We won't always be perfect with it, but we can always be faithful to the One who saves.

Marci

How to Begin to Find Peace

Lion's Lare Trail in Boulder, Colorado

I absolutely love hiking. My adrenaline is activated as I watch for bears, mountain lions, deer, and creepy, scary humans. As I walk along the trails, I inhale the clean air and take in the outrageously beautiful sights. I am amazed every single time that God created everything I encounter. When I am not chatting up my husband, I am talking with Jesus. I often revel in praise at His creation. However, there are times I pray for something that is heavy on my heart, be it a personal issue or an intercession for someone. 

I have been asked numerous times about my love of hiking. Aren't I afraid? What would I do if I encountered a curious creature? What's it like being so vulnerable? Have you ever been startled by another human? 

Notice that all of those questions focus on what could negatively happen. Not many people ask me to describe the most beautiful sights I have taken in. I have never been asked what it's like to be so immersed in God's creation.

My happy place is a mountain. Nature ignites my closeness with God and causes me to feel overwhelming peace. I can truly feel His presence among me, despite the dangers that are possibly lurking in the woods and around each bend. 

As I excitedly look forward to an upcoming trip to the mountains, I began to wonder why I am so peaceful and calm amongst possible dangers, yet I am often afraid by what if's in everyday life. God is the same. He's not different, I am. 

When I am hiking, I release my fears and put my total self in God's hands. I trust that He will protect me no matter what. I often cautiously scan my surroundings, but I do it with joy and peace.

As I scan my daily life and the worries I have tethered to my heart, I am left with anxiety, worry, and frustration. 

Why is it that I can't let go and fully trust when I am in regular life mode? 

Can you relate?

When I am on vacation, I tend to relax and rest in the moment. I bask in the beauty and refresh my body and soul. 

God calls us to do that every single day, no matter where we are physically and mentally. 

1 Peter 5:7 instructs us to "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you".

Matthew 6:27 tell us that worry cannot add a single hour to our life.

So let's just all stop worrying, fretting, and trying to control situations we really can't.

How dumb is that statement!? It's such an absurd command. I get so very irritated when I am stressed about something and people respond, "Just stop worrying." Oh duh! Why didn't I think of that! (Insert the biggest eye roll ever!)

Casting our cares and giving God the reigns we so desperately try to hang on to takes lots of practice. We must be patient and offer ourselves lots of grace. In truth, it's going to take a daily commitment to give God everything. We are going to slip up and worry so badly our bellies hurt many times. But God knows our intents. He knows when we truly try to give Him our concerns. 

As I am learning to do this more and more, I have found that uttering a simple prayer helps. When worry likes to set up camp in my overactive mind, I repeat over and over, "Jesus, I trust in You."  Prayer isn't meant to be long and drawn out. Prayer is talking to Jesus and sharing your heart. He doesn't give out prizes to the best speakers. He gives His overwhelming peace to those who truly seek and trust Him.

Many people know Jeremiah 29:11. We often cling to it when we are unsure of what is happening in our lives. Verses 12-13 aren't often quoted, however. I love these verses, as they instruct us to seek Him and assure us we will find Him. 

We've got this! We can imperfectly pray for trust and guidance. We can be assured that Jesus has us perfectly.  

Psalm 139:5 - You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand upon me.

Keep hiking up this mountain of life and rest in the truth that Jesus you regardless of your surroundings and circumstances.

With love,

Marci💗

Finding the Gold in Others Rather than the Dirt

Ever notice how quick we are to judge people and pick at their scabs?  We may smile on the outside, but often times we are searching for the dirt - the uglies.

I think we are all guilty of this at times.  

Recently, someone told me a story about some people.  The person was telling me some facts, but there were definite judgments attached.  For the next couple of days, I couldn't stop thinking about the story. The more I thought about it, the more my heart broke for the people involved.  

The more I pondered it, the more I wondered why it was so attached to my heart.  The Lord began to show me how often we {me included} see the dirt rather than finding the gold.  He began convicting my heart over situations and discussions I have been involved in.

We all have dirt because we are all human.  We are sinful creatures who can create quite the dirt piles.  We, more than anyone else, know how dirty we are and can become.  We are fully aware of the imperfections and sins that plaque us.  

Do we focus on other's dirt to avoid seeing our own sometimes?  Does focusing on other's dirt take the spotlight off of our own messiness?

Yep-I think that's it.  We focus on the dirt other's wear so our dirt doesn't appear to be so brown.

Aren't we suppose to be building each other up and encouraging one another to live life better?  We can't really do that if we are focusing on the messy, even if just in our minds.

Our family visited Colorado a few summers ago.  We decided we would go on an adventure and search for gold.  We grabbed our tin bowls and began sifting through the water in search of the sparkly stuff.  It didn't take long for our kids {and me} to get bored.  All we seemed to find were dirty rocks covered in mud.  After about 15 minutes we set our bowls aside and began running around in search of instant fun.  

We never found any gold - we didn't look long enough.

We can be that way in our interactions with people.  Sometimes we don't look long and hard enough for the sparkle.  We notice the dirt and quickly walk away.  

Everyone has sparkle inside of them.  We can find some people's fairly quickly.  But some people have hidden it so well that it takes quite a while to find it.  When there is a glimmer of sparkle in those people, however, it is the most beautiful shine.  Not only are you recognizing it, but the person may be too.  They may not even be aware that any kind of glimmer exists in their broken, messy hearts.  

What if we stopped looking at the dirt and searched for the gold?  

What if when we see even a hint of a glimmer, we focus on that rather than the mess?  

Can you imagine the shine that will sparkle when we do?  

Imagine showing someone their gold when they had no idea any existed.

Be the one who finds the gold, my friend.  Oh what we can do for God's Kingdom if we only look hard enough.

Loving you with a golden heart-

Marci

How To Pray Throughout the Day

Prayer is a game changer.  When done consistently, our hearts learn to lean towards Jesus in all areas of our lives.  The abundant life that He speaks of in John 10:10 becomes a reality.  This is not to say there will never be trials, heartache, tears, and anger.  These things are a given when living in a broken world.  However, cultivating an active prayer life will change the way we deal with these things and create an overall sense of peace and calmness amidst the storms.  Fears will still come, but they won't pull us under the roaring sea.  When prayer is part of your day and part of your life, your life truly will change.

Sounds great, right?  But how does one pray continually?  We have so much going on in life and so many things to think about, plan, and execute.  I remember on numerous mornings telling myself I was going to pray throughout the day only to crawl in my bed that night and realize I didn't utter one prayer.  I would get discouraged and frustrated with myself.

I began to really think about how I could pray continually throughout the day.  I realized (God probably actually smacked me with this reality!) that prayer is not a wordy, impersonal act.  Prayer is literally just talking to Jesus.  Prayer is our direct line to Him.

Think about it...we talk to ourselves all day long.  Instead of just speaking to ourselves, we can train our minds to speak to the Holy Spirit more than we speak to ourselves.  And that, my friend, is prayer!  Nothing fancy.  Nothing showy.  Just pure, honest talk.

So how do we train our minds?  With lots of practice.  Anytime we begin something new, it takes effort.  We create habits over a series of days and weeks, not minutes.  The practice of continual prayer is not meant to frustrate us, it is meant to encourage us and enrich our lives.

There are many ways to train our minds.  We are all different and, therefore, some things work for some while other things work for others.  I'm going to share how I was able to train my mind.  You can use it all, you can use bits and pieces, or you can throw it all out the window.  Do what works for you.

How I trained my mind to have an active and consistent prayer life:

1.  I begin my day with Jesus.  Before doing anything else, I grab my prayer journal and write out what I am thankful for, personal prayers, and prayers for others.  Prior to beginning, I ask Jesus to show me sins I need to confess and people I need to forgive.  This clears my heart and prepares me to focus on Jesus.  By waking and going to Jesus first thing, I center my thoughts around Him rather than around me.  It has made a HUGE difference in my life.

2.  I committed to reading Scripture daily.  This is often done mid morning or early afternoon.  I have found that this has helped me so much.  If my mind wanders away from the will of Jesus, reading Scripture always brings me back to Him.  This can be five minutes or thirty minutes.  It is dependent upon my day.  However, I generally always stick to it because it has made such a difference in my mindset and heart.

3.  I like to focus on a verse each day.  When I wake in the morning and have something on my heart, I will look for a verse during my prayer time that I know will help center me.  For example, if I am in what if mode, I will think upon Philippians 4:6-8.  If I do not have the verse committed to memory, I will write it down on a small index card and keep it with me.

These practices have been so helpful in training my mind to think upon Jesus throughout the day.  My prayers are short - often one to two sentences - but they are consistent.  For example, if I am outside with my puppy and hear a bird, I will tell Jesus what a beautiful sound He created and thank Him for allowing me to hear it.

Praying consistently has made such an impact on my life.  I feel so very connected to Jesus.  I recognize His presence so often and feel Him speaking to me.  There truly is a peace that surpasses all of my understanding and I know, without a doubt, that it comes from having an active prayer life.

My mom recently said something that was a golden nugget.  I grabbed it and tucked it away for safe keeping hoping to never forget it.  She said, "As I'm praying throughout the day, I don't say Amen.  I keep my heart open so that my prayers are flowing all day."  I love that!  Let your prayers flow all day and feel the transforming effects of a consistent and active prayer life.

Rooting for you and your prayer life,
Marci 💗

Don't Fall for It

 Proverbs 16:18

Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

Good 'ol pride brought Satan down. Funny, he uses pride to bring us down, too. Satan whispers in our ear that our choices to honor our ourselves won't hurt anyone. In fact, if we are happy, the enemy tells us, then everyone around us will be happy too. We hear the "I am" statements and believe them.

I am unhappy with my husband, he's not fun anymore.

I am tired of pleasing everyone else. It's time to focus on me for a change.

I am important, therefore, I can do whatever makes me feel good.

I am overweight, so I choose to starve myself.

I am a good person, so it is okay to make this choice.

We must never forget that there is only one I AM and that is Jesus Christ. Proverbs 16:18 tells us that when we are prideful and arrogant, we will surely have destruction. Who on earth plans to fall?

We do when we allow pride and arrogance to enter our hearts. May we boast in our Lord and Savior and never in ourselves. May our eyes ever be on our Redeemer.

What causes pride to rear its ugly head in your heart? How do you usually respond to it?

Choose well,

Marci💗

The Desperate Plea of a Woman

Are we all tired yet? The fighting. The yelling. The disagreeing that boils down to pride, self promotion, and pure hate.  What really is being accomplished?

The assassination of Charlie Kirk has shaken me to the core. This isn't because I was a die hard fan. It's due to the fact that we are now killing because we feel it is our right as humans to eliminate those we don't agree with. Extremism to its core. 

It is appalling to read all of the posts celebrating the killing of a human being. Celebrating! This is very disturbing, to say the least. Where has the moral compass gone? It has been replaced with a self centered belief that we are the god of ourselves. If it's not pleasing, it's not worth dealing with. People have decided that if someone disagrees with them, they are disposable. While not everyone is out taking the life of those they disagree with, they are certainly, and often, killing them. They kill reputations. They kill with slander and lies. It has become a disgusting war of words. People hide behind screens and blast out nasty insults for their own pleasure. Somehow we have lost basic human respect and kindness. 

What happened to good 'ol fashioned debating? It used to be okay, and actually quite well received, to have healthy debates. People of differing views were able to have civilized disagreements without ruining relationships, spewing hate, and ultimately celebrating their opponent's death. It made the debaters stronger. And sometimes minds were actually changed because people listened to one another and were able to rationally look at ideas critically without pride.

Very rarely is this seen in our country anymore. We have elected officials screaming at each other and verbally attacking one another while standing in positions our tax dollars actually pay them to stand in. It has become such a joke. 

If you are a conservative, you are labeled racist, intolerant, hateful, a fascist, a Nazi, etc. When conservatives call on God in prayer, we are told we are wasting our time. And there lies the problem. People have abandoned the Word of God for the word of the enemy. The story is as old as time. Think back to the serpent asking Eve, "Did God really say...". And the question continues to be posed every single day.

I know a woman whose son was offered an interview at Fox News. The young man refused the interview because he said he would be hung in the public forum if it came out that he was a conservative who loved God. What has happened to moral courage? That topic will be saved for another post, but definitely worth asking yourself and those around you. 

If you are a breathing human being, you should be appalled that a person was killed for his beliefs and words. This shouldn't be a party affiliation outrage. It should be an everybody outrage. If even for a moment you celebrated, you should check your heart. Find the evil that has crept in and do everything to remove it. Celebration for this is a sure sign that the enemy has his stake in you. This should scare you like nothing else. 

In 1991, Rodney King was severely and violently beaten by Los Angeles police officers. The beating was captured on video and released to a news station. It was absolutely horrifying! The officers were brought to trial and subsequentially acquitted. Riots broke out for 6 straight days. Businesses were burned. People lost their lives. It was pure terror for those caught up in the violence. 

Rodney King made a public statement concerning the riots. His remarks should be revisited by all Americans. 

I just want to say – you know – can we, can we all get along? Can we, can we get along? Can we stop making it horrible for the older people and the kids? And ... I mean we've got enough smog in Los Angeles let alone to deal with setting these fires and things ... It's just not right. It's not right, and it's not going to change anything. We'll get our justice. They've won the battle, but they haven't won the war. We'll get our day in court, and that's all we want. And, just, uh, I love – I'm neutral. I love every – I love people of color. I'm not like they're making me out to be. We've got to quit. We've got to quit; I mean, after all, I could understand the first – upset for the first two hours after the verdict, but to go on, to keep going on like this and to see the security guard shot on the ground – it's just not right. It's just not right, because those people will never go home to their families again. And uh, I mean, please, we can, we can get along here. We all can get along. We just gotta. We gotta. I mean, we're all stuck here for a while. Let's, you know, let's try to work it out. Let's try to beat it, you know. Let's try to work it out.

What is it going to take for our country to come together and respect one another? The last time I truly witnessed such a thing was after 9/11. Let's hope and pray it doesn't take such tragedy for people to lay aside their swords and find common ground and disagree respectfully.

Notice how the different flowers compliment each. What beauty can be had!

Marci

Steadfast Wins the Race

Let’s be honest, we live in a world where we are told that we should look out for number one. To be truly happy, we should be our top priority. We have been conditioned to believe that the purpose of living is to be happy, no matter the cost. 

Life is all about us, right? Wrong! In fact, if you take an inventory of your life, I bet you’ll discover that your happiest moments, most joyous times, are when you are not focused on yourself at all. A bit of upside down thinking in our world.

Jesus has called us to love others and to look at them as more important than ourselves. Our work on this earth is to glorify Him by loving Him best and pouring His love into others. This isn’t always easy. In fact, it sometimes feels downright impossible to love others. Let’s be clear, Jesus never calls us to be a doormat. We are never to condone abuse or bullying of ourselves. That is not love for ourselves or the other person. 

So how can we be steadfast and firm in doing the work of the Lord? We can hold our tongues rather than lashing out. We can be charitable with our time and talents. We can help a neighbor in need. We can put down our phones and have real conversations. We can forgive.

What is something you can do today for the Lord? Whatever it is, be steadfast and firm. Your heart will be glad.

1 Corinthians 15:58 - Be firm, steadfast, always fully devoted to the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Go deeper with these corresponding verses:

Galatians 6:9 and Colossians 3:23-24

Not Your Ordinary Forgiveness Post

Ever been wronged?

Treated badly?

Gossiped about by a friend?

Been made to feel like a loser?

Rejected/abandoned?

Manipulated?

Gaslit?

Yep, same.  I raise my hand to all of those instances and more.  In truth, it makes me really angry sometimes to recall these.  In actuality, there are times these treatments occur and/or continue.

I have read countless articles, blog posts, and books about forgiveness.  Some have been super helpful, while some have made ME feel like the problem.  The latter infuriates me.  Nothing like victim blaming and shaming.

I'm just going to be transparent.  There's no use in hiding truths.  No one grows, learns, or can relate when we try and appear perfect, or dang near there.  I'm so over the facade of perfection.  I'm convinced that the people who try and make others think that their lives are perfect and they are perfect are the ones that are hurting the most.  If they can get others to think they are perfect, get some worship going, they may have a moment, or moments, where the pain subsides.

My earliest memories are of feelings of pain.  People talk about great childhood memories.  Not me.  I have some good memories.  Some that I may even be able to consider great.  However, my childhood was wrought with abandonment, rejection, manipulation, and abuse.  I was the caretaker physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I cannot remember a time when I was carefree.  I learned from a very young age that my words mattered.  To speak truth about my feelings was not allowed.  I was to always build the adults around me up.  It was my job and responsibility to take care of emotions.  To do otherwise resulted in the adult in charge becoming a raging victim.

I became a great actress.  I could have won an award type actress!  On occasion, I am still that little actress in a grown woman's body.  More than on occasion if I'm being honest.

As an adult, I continued in what I knew.  I knew how to excuse behaviors, cover up behaviors to protect the culprit, and blame myself.  Real healthy, I tell you!

There are still a few people in my life who are culprits.  Unfortunately, I cannot rid my life of them.  

I have learned how to take up for myself, bite back when needed, and consider the source (as my dad would say).

What used to cut me so low that I would allow myself to feel like the biggest loser and idiot now makes me angry.  It also makes me dislike the perpetrator(s).  

I used to struggle with this, as I am a Jesus loving girl.  I came to the realization that Jesus doesn't instruct us to put up with people's crap and poor treatment.  It's okay to dislike people.  We are called to ask for wisdom and discernment.  To be gifted with these means we are fully aware of behaviors and treatments that don't honor Jesus or look like Jesus.  

Jesus instructs us to love.  When we allow poor treatment, we aren't loving ourselves.  We also aren't truly loving the other person.  Plain and simple.

So forgiveness...

Nothing irks me more than a holier than thou person.  I am not going to feed you any of that.  I would likely throw up on myself while trying to type.

What I am going to tell you is that forgiveness for me and my sanity looks like realizing that no one gets to define me or treat me poorly.  When a person tries, I am going to take up for myself.  I am also going to walk away from a person or situation if possible.  

Biblically, forgiveness is giving it to God and not dwelling on it.  It's not excusing the person or ever allowing it.  

My advice to someone who is walking around feeling miserable because of someone's past or present treatment is to take up for yourself.  Sometimes this looks like not answering the person, not engaging in dialogue.  At times, it's walking away in the moment or for good.

I also have embraced boundaries.  I created specific boundaries for those in my life who harm me.  I stick to them too.  I refuse to share anything personal with those that I know will use the information against me at a later time.  I am not going to spend time with those who get their kicks off of kicking me to make themselves feel more important.  And a big one - I am not going to take care of other's emotions.  Ever.  

My definition of forgiveness goes something like this...

Forgiveness - the act of never allowing others to define you, rule you, or treat you poorly.  When someone behaves or speaks in an unkind or manipulative way, walk away and dust off the hurt.  Do not allow the pain to take up residence in your heart.  Consider the source!

I'm not going to lie, I have been known to say ugly things in my head as an ugly (on the inside!) person is trying to cut me down or treat me poorly.  It helps, just sayin'....

I hope this gives you hope, help, and a way out of the pain.

With great love,

Marci

Panic

Panic.  Ugh, the word alone can create physical discomfort within us.  It can cause us to think upon the one thing, or things, that are causing us to worry and have fear.

I've been there and done that so much in my life.  My oldest child was discovered to have a heart defect at his 3 month check-up.  Panic.  I instantly knew it was more than a benign heart murmur.  Something in my mama gut told me this was not good.  I immediately felt fear consume me and envisioned digging a hole, climbing in with him in my arms, and hiding from reality.

We moved to New York a month after the heart murmur diagnoses.  My husband was starting Physician Assistant school there.  The cardiologist found a pediatrician in NY for us and informed us that 90% of those with our son's condition do not require surgery.  He told us that the body is amazing and often corrects the defect by the time a child is one.  

We packed our things and headed to NY.  Once there, I purchased plane tickets to return to Houston for our son's cardiology check-up, which was to be when he was 6 months old.  We settled into our new home as best we could.  

As scheduled, my son and I flew to Houston for the cardiology appointment.  I was extremely apprehensive, but excited to visit family.  My husband had to stay in NY for school.  At the cardiology check-up, I was informed our son had to have emergency heart surgery, as his heart was so enlarged it was the size of his chest.  Panic.  I immediately called my husband and left a message on our home phone to call me ASAP.  We didn't have cell phones back then and I had to wait for him to receive my message.  I felt so alone.  I felt so discombobulated. Within the time it took for the words "immediate surgery" to be breathed, my world stopped. 

My father-in-law purchased a plane ticket for my husband and by that night, he was with us in Houston.  I can remember holding my son and rocking him.  I begged God to heal him.  I made deals with God that if He healed him, I would do whatever He told me to do.  I told God to take me if He was planning on taking our son.  Panic.

As insurance would have it, we had to wait almost a week for the surgery to occur.  I'm not sure I really slept that week.  I could not take my eyes off of my sick child.  I needed to watch him and make certain he was still breathing. I could barely eat.  I recall being in a room with people, but feeling like I was out of my body. Panic.

Due to the severity of our son's condition, the cardiologist had us stay in the hospital prior to the surgery.  I recall looking out the hospital room window and watching people walking to and fro.  How on earth were these people functioning?  Didn't they know my world was being turned upside down? My heart and brain were in such a fog.  All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mama.  How was this happening?  So many things rolled through my thoughts.  I could barely function.

The morning of the surgery was so difficult.  The moment the nurses came and took him from us was torturous.  I wasn't sure if that would be the last time I held my beautiful boy in my arms.  I fell to my knees and sobbed.  I felt I couldn't breathe.  What was life without him? I don't remember how we got to the family waiting area after he was taken from us.  When I think back on that, all I can recall is how I felt. Panic.

We were told the surgery would be about an hour and a half.  I paced and I watched the clock.  I heard people talking, but I certainly couldn't make out words.  At the 45 minute mark, the surgeon entered the room we were waiting in.  No.  It wasn't time yet.  I recall feeling like I had been punched in the stomach and I'm certain I held my breath.  He walked up to me with the calmest demeanor and informed us that the surgery was over and had gone so well that he was amazed.  I immediately threw my arms around him, thanked him, and cried my eyes out.

Later that week, the cardiologist's nurse came and talked with me.  She had been in the OR with our son during the surgery.  She said it was amazing.  My tiny little 6 month old, 12 pound baby had done remarkable.  She stated that his blood pressure and vitals were perfect during the surgery.  She voiced her amazement, as well as the other's in the room.  No one could believe it.  She stated that she felt the greatest peace and calm in the operating room.

My panic turned to praise.  My beautiful child had been left on this earth.  I knew that wasn't something to be taken lightly.  I knew I owed all my praise to God.  I did not, and do not, take this gift in vain.  I raised up our son to know his story and to know the Lord.  I talked to him often about the wonders of Jesus.  I informed him that he was greatly loved and left on earth for a purpose.  To this day, I talk to him about honoring Jesus in all he does. .

My heart still aches when I recall the memories of that time. I am transported back in time and feel all the emotions - the pain, the panic, the utter relief, the love.  I will never stop thanking God for our son's healing.  I will always know that it was Jesus who held him during the surgery.

In Exodus 3, God gives Moses a mission - go save My people from the Egyptians.  Moses panics.  He asks God "who am I that I shall go"?  God's response - "I will be with you".

Moses panicked.

God reassured.

God will never lead us to something to walk alone. Does it always turn out the way we beg?  Not at all.  God's ways aren't our ways.  There is great pain in life.  There is also great joy.  Regardless of where we are being led-pain or joy-God is with us and knows.  

Since our son's surgery, I have had many more panic moments.  He needed one more surgery when he was 4.  Our family has moved homes, moved jobs, been without jobs, made friends, lost friends, my dad has died, I've had to put my mom in assisted living, and many more.  

One thing has remained constant during life.  When I panic, God reassures.  He doesn't always do it the way I would want, but He always, without fail, does it the way I need. 

Always Loved

Acknowledging that we were thrown in pits is painful and can cause us to feel like we are slipping back in.  Memories can be slippery slopes.  Don’t allow the enemy to convince you that you deserved it or that you are unloved.  I’ve allowed myself to feel both and, I promise a million times over, they are bold faced lies that the enemy uses to keep you from knowing your worth in Jesus.

Before we dig into Joseph (our first pit dweller), I want to prove to you that the enemy is out to keep you from Jesus.  He twists Scripture just enough to get us to believe the lies.  His all-time favorite saying is, “Did God really say?”

Please open your Bible and read Genesis 2:8-9.

God caused trees to grow out of the ground.  What are the two things that the trees were good for? ____________________________________________________________

The trees were good for eating and were beautiful to look at.  God satisfied man with His fantastic creation through bellies and eyes. 

Circle the correct answer:  Did you notice anything in the above Scripture that spoke about touching the trees?

Yes

No

Keep your answer in mind, as we will circle back to it in a bit.

Now read Genesis 2:15-17.

God lovingly places the man in the garden of Eden.  Prior to his placement, the trees were wonderfully planted and grew.  God prepared everything the man would need for nourishment. As the man was being placed in the garden, God commanded him regarding what trees were for consumption and what tree was off limits. 

Fill in the blanks:

And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are ________ to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must _____ eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will __________ die.”

From the beginning of time, God has given His children free will.  He instructed the man on what tree to eat from and what tree to avoid.  Notice He said, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden”.  After stating the freedom, He clearly told of the consequence of not following His command. God will always instruct us in our ways, but He will not force us.  He loves us so deeply and dearly, and He desires the same kind of love in return. 

Have you ever tried to force someone to love you? If so, briefly record the circumstances and results below.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Forced love is not real love.  It never has been and never will be.

Read Genesis 2:20-25.

The Lord recognizes that the man, Adam, was alone.  He knew prior to the creation that relationships are essential.  He lovingly created the woman, Eve.  He did not create her to be second best.  He did not create her to be Adam’s subordinate.  God created Eve with great love for her and for Adam.

Fill in the blank.

Genesis 2:20b: but for the man, no ___________ was found corresponding to him.

In our society, we view the word “helper” to mean an assistant.  As a former teacher, I had a classroom helper each day.  The classroom helper assisted me in tasks I needed, such as sharpening pencils, taking notes to the office, passing out papers, etc.  We often view a helper as second best, not having the same standing as the one being helped.

The Hebrew word for helper is Ezer.  Ezer is used 21 times in the Old Testament.  It refers to Eve 2 times, the powerful nations that Israel calls on for help when they are being attacked or threatened to be attacked, and 16 times as God our help.

God does not work for us; He comes alongside us when we are in need.  It is with love He does this, not any idea or thought or subordinacy. 

In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Paynes states it this way:

“The noun used her [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest ‘helper’ as in ‘servant’, but help, savior, rescuer, protector as in ‘God is our help’.  In no other occurrence in the Old Testament does this refer to an inferior, but always a superior or an equal …’help’ expresses that the woman is a help/strength who rescues or saves man.”

God did not create the woman to be the man’s servant.  He created her to serve with the man.  That’s a huge difference!  God’s love for women is as strong as His love for men.  Many would like us to believe otherwise.  Thankfully, God’s truths trump man’s truths a million times over.

Notice that God gave the man commands regarding the garden of Eden prior to bringing the woman to life. 

Continue forward in Genesis and read 3:1-10.

And then there was the fall.  I pointed out that God gave the man garden commands before offering the woman as his ezer.  Does this mean that the man did not communicate God’s desires to the woman?  I mean, come on, we all know men struggle with communication!  Maybe he thought he told her but didn’t.  He could have sworn he told her as he was watching a game on TV.  A story as old as time!

All joking aside, the man most certainly communicated God’s commands to the woman.  Everything in the garden of Eden was perfect. The relationship between the two was surely beautiful and wonderful.  Think about it-God walked with the couple throughout the garden often.  Imagine the conversations they had.  There had to be laughter, love, joking, as well as serious talk.  The three must have had such great fellowship.

Just for fun, describe a scene between the three. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The fall was just as much the man’s fault as it was the woman’s.  Genesis 3:1 describes the serpent (the enemy) as the most cunning.

The Oxford Dictionary defines cunning as “having or showing skill in achieving one’s end by deceit or evasion”.

The enemy knew exactly what he was doing.  He was well aware that if he used a sprinkling of truth mixed with a sprinkling of a lie, he would have the couple eating out of his hands, literally.

Write the question the enemy poses to the couple at the end of 3:1.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Did God really say…

Did God really say that you had to be true to your marriage if you no longer feel love?

Did God really say you can’t live with your partner if you aren’t married?

Did God really say that we need to look to Him in all things? Shouldn’t we be able to rely on ourselves?

Did God really say that we are to serve others over ourselves?

Write out a few that come to your mind.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reread verses 2:16-17 and compare it to verses 3:2-3.  What difference do you see?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yep!  God never said the couple couldn’t touch the tree.  The woman certainly knew God’s command.  She walked with Him in the garden for goodness sakes!  She let her guard down and allowed the presence of evil to swoon her.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)

Can you think of a time when you let your guard down and quickly fell out of step with God’s decrees?  It can happen in the blink of an eye.  We must continuously guard our hearts and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us.  I have found that praying for discernment and leading really helps in my day-to-day connections with others.

Reread Genesis 2:17 and Genesis 3:4.

The enemy blatantly lied to the woman, and she fell for it.  Sadly, how often do we do the same?  We get caught up in a person’s words and perceived care for us, and we fall right into their trap.  It can happen in the snap of a finger.  One minute we are walking with God, and the next we are being wooed by the enemy.  He tricks us with word changes, guilt, shame, and self-absorption.

We see in Genesis 3:4-7 the woman and the man don’t think twice about tasting the fruit.  The allure of wisdom sunk it’s teeth into their pride and they sunk their teeth into the fruit. And everything changed. One bite led to shame.  It led to wanting to hide from God.  Imagine how they must of kicked themselves.  Do you think the phrase, “if only” ran through their minds?  Do you think they made excuses, blamed the other? I’m certain we can all identify with the gut pain a wrong decision causes, especially when we know that God told us to do otherwise. 

 We will explore this more when we discuss throwing ourselves into pits. 

Yes, the enemy wants to pull us from Jesus’ love.  He wants us to feel like we are not lovable, and, in fact, we don’t deserve His love.  Lies. Jesus has loved all of us from the beginning of time.  Nothing can, or ever will, separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39).

Let’s end today by taking in what God did after the couple tasted the fruit.

Read Genesis 3:8-10.

God knew that the couple had taken a bite of the fruit.  He knew they listened to the enemy and chose his lies over God’s truths. 

God showed up anyway.  Think about that.  He didn’t abandon them.  He walked where He knew they would walk.  He still wanted to be with them.  He still wants to be with us.  No amount of shame from our pasts (or presents) will cause Him to leave us.  His love is forever.  The pain you suffered when you were thrown into a pit does not mean you are not loved.  You are loved yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

As you go about your day, hold your head up high.  You are marked by His love forever.

💗,Marci

 

 

Hanging on by the Thread of His Hem

Let's just be honest and real...life can be hard.  No matter what we do to prevent hardships, they come on without warning at times.  We think we have things rolling along wonderfully and are on top of the mountain and then, boom, we are hit in the face, gut, knees, and toes.  It sucks the wind out of us and can leave us in dismay.  It happens to the best of people and it can stink!

This has been one of those years for me.  Yep, I said years.  This year seems like a never ending whirlwind of one thing after another. Just when I think I am standing straight up again, something else comes along and pushes me over.  Once again, I feel unsteady on my feet and rock back and forth like I am one of those reporters in the midst of hurricane winds.

In the stance of being real, I am going to dish some of my year.  

 I had to leave a job that I thought I would have for a long time. It offered my family financial security, and it brought me a sense of independence.  Many things brought on my exit.  Trouble had been brewing for a while, as I and others were not supported in our basic needs and security.  When each day brings fears of physical and mental trauma to yourself and your students, that is not a recipe for peace, joy, and overall stability.  

The final push to walk away came when I was injured in a ridiculous running injury.  As I was running, my toe clipped a portion of the pea gravel I was on and I hit the ground extremely hard.  My right hand had a huge gash and skin was peeled back revealing the inside of my palm.  My knee had missing skin and there was fat hanging out of an opening.  Who knew there was fat on a knee cap!?!  My hand had to be cleaned out and stitched up.  It eventually came to be known that I had fractured my kneecap.  I was unable to walk well and could not use my right hand.  I took FMLA leave, but eventually had to make the decision to bow out and focus on healing.  

The injury threw me for a loop since running was the one thing that took my mind off of some trauma and abuse that was resurfacing.  Without running, I was forced to look it in the face and deal with it.  Hard stuff.  My school district always talked about mental health.  It became super evident that that was all it was....talk.  Once I submitted my resignation and voiced my reason and the hardness of my decision, I was seen as an enemy.  It hurt at first, but I began to realize that true colors come out right when they need to.  My true friends were so compassionate, supportive, and kind.  They encouraged me forward in my healing.  I am forever grateful.

As I was learning to rebound and grow, I had a friend become harsh and uncaring.  Our friendship became about her.  In reality, it had always been.  You know those friendships where you give - are actually expected to give at the drop of a hat.  However, when you need something, all you hear is crickets (or their issues!). It was painful, as I had walked through some big moments with this person.  Looking backwards, it was such a blessing.  It was an unhealthy friendship that needed to be excavated. Don't get me wrong, it hurt like a big, bad bee sting. 

In the midst of all of this, Jesus has taught me some good, hard lessons.  When I took my focus off of Him, panic, fear, and overwhelming sadness kicked in.  I had known I needed Him, but I certainly didn't practice it.  I tried figuring things out and making plans.  Yeah, I'm sure He laughed! ;)  

Two Bible verses have been glued to my brain lately.  Memorizing Scripture has been such a blessing in my life.  God's Word pops into my head and heart right when I need it.   

1. Jeremiah 29:11-12..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come to me in prayer, and I will listen to you."

I know God has my back.  He never left me and has my story already written.  My job is to be obedient and listen to His leading.  It's hard to do that when I create plans independent of Him.  I am learning to be still, listen, and obey.  Peace never comes void of Jesus.  

2. Philippians 2:13-14...For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to His good purpose.  Do everything without grumbling or arguing.

This verse continues to remind me that God is working a good purpose in my life.  He doesn't need my help.  I can sit in pure, trusting confidence that He works everything out for His purpose.  Gosh, to be able to honor Jesus with my story is worth every heartache suffered.  When I complain or get grumpy over circumstances and events, it only serves to pull my focus away from Jesus.  And isn't that exactly what the enemy wants?!

I tell you all this because I want you to know you aren't alone if, or when, you are in a deep valley. It may feel so lonely at times, but in reality, Jesus is right with us.  He knows that all we can do is hang onto Him by the smallest thread, and He's okay with that.  He promises that if we have the faith of a mustard seed, He sees us and knows.  He gets pain.  He gets loneliness.  He even gets our hopelessness.  When He senses these things from us, He gets into action and covers us.  I can type this with nothing but pure certainty.  I have seen it and felt it numerous times in my life. 

Hang on for dear life.  He won't let you drop.

Psalm 46:5...God is within her, she will not fail. 💗

With great love,

Marci