Not Your Ordinary Forgiveness Post

Ever been wronged?

Treated badly?

Gossiped about by a friend?

Been made to feel like a loser?

Rejected/abandoned?

Manipulated?

Gaslit?

Yep, same.  I raise my hand to all of those instances and more.  In truth, it makes me really angry sometimes to recall these.  In actuality, there are times these treatments occur and/or continue.

I have read countless articles, blog posts, and books about forgiveness.  Some have been super helpful, while some have made ME feel like the problem.  The latter infuriates me.  Nothing like victim blaming and shaming.

I'm just going to be transparent.  There's no use in hiding truths.  No one grows, learns, or can relate when we try and appear perfect, or dang near there.  I'm so over the facade of perfection.  I'm convinced that the people who try and make others think that their lives are perfect and they are perfect are the ones that are hurting the most.  If they can get others to think they are perfect, get some worship going, they may have a moment, or moments, where the pain subsides.

My earliest memories are of feelings of pain.  People talk about great childhood memories.  Not me.  I have some good memories.  Some that I may even be able to consider great.  However, my childhood was wrought with abandonment, rejection, manipulation, and abuse.  I was the caretaker physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I cannot remember a time when I was carefree.  I learned from a very young age that my words mattered.  To speak truth about my feelings was not allowed.  I was to always build the adults around me up.  It was my job and responsibility to take care of emotions.  To do otherwise resulted in the adult in charge becoming a raging victim.

I became a great actress.  I could have won an award type actress!  On occasion, I am still that little actress in a grown woman's body.  More than on occasion if I'm being honest.

As an adult, I continued in what I knew.  I knew how to excuse behaviors, cover up behaviors to protect the culprit, and blame myself.  Real healthy, I tell you!

There are still a few people in my life who are culprits.  Unfortunately, I cannot rid my life of them.  

I have learned how to take up for myself, bite back when needed, and consider the source (as my dad would say).

What used to cut me so low that I would allow myself to feel like the biggest loser and idiot now makes me angry.  It also makes me dislike the perpetrator(s).  

I used to struggle with this, as I am a Jesus loving girl.  I came to the realization that Jesus doesn't instruct us to put up with people's crap and poor treatment.  It's okay to dislike people.  We are called to ask for wisdom and discernment.  To be gifted with these means we are fully aware of behaviors and treatments that don't honor Jesus or look like Jesus.  

Jesus instructs us to love.  When we allow poor treatment, we aren't loving ourselves.  We also aren't truly loving the other person.  Plain and simple.

So forgiveness...

Nothing irks me more than a holier than thou person.  I am not going to feed you any of that.  I would likely throw up on myself while trying to type.

What I am going to tell you is that forgiveness for me and my sanity looks like realizing that no one gets to define me or treat me poorly.  When a person tries, I am going to take up for myself.  I am also going to walk away from a person or situation if possible.  

Biblically, forgiveness is giving it to God and not dwelling on it.  It's not excusing the person or ever allowing it.  

My advice to someone who is walking around feeling miserable because of someone's past or present treatment is to take up for yourself.  Sometimes this looks like not answering the person, not engaging in dialogue.  At times, it's walking away in the moment or for good.

I also have embraced boundaries.  I created specific boundaries for those in my life who harm me.  I stick to them too.  I refuse to share anything personal with those that I know will use the information against me at a later time.  I am not going to spend time with those who get their kicks off of kicking me to make themselves feel more important.  And a big one - I am not going to take care of other's emotions.  Ever.  

My definition of forgiveness goes something like this...

Forgiveness - the act of never allowing others to define you, rule you, or treat you poorly.  When someone behaves or speaks in an unkind or manipulative way, walk away and dust off the hurt.  Do not allow the pain to take up residence in your heart.  Consider the source!

I'm not going to lie, I have been known to say ugly things in my head as an ugly (on the inside!) person is trying to cut me down or treat me poorly.  It helps, just sayin'....

I hope this gives you hope, help, and a way out of the pain.

With great love,

Marci

Always Loved

Acknowledging that we were thrown in pits is painful and can cause us to feel like we are slipping back in.  Memories can be slippery slopes.  Don’t allow the enemy to convince you that you deserved it or that you are unloved.  I’ve allowed myself to feel both and, I promise a million times over, they are bold faced lies that the enemy uses to keep you from knowing your worth in Jesus.

Before we dig into Joseph (our first pit dweller), I want to prove to you that the enemy is out to keep you from Jesus.  He twists Scripture just enough to get us to believe the lies.  His all-time favorite saying is, “Did God really say?”

Please open your Bible and read Genesis 2:8-9.

God caused trees to grow out of the ground.  What are the two things that the trees were good for? ____________________________________________________________

The trees were good for eating and were beautiful to look at.  God satisfied man with His fantastic creation through bellies and eyes. 

Circle the correct answer:  Did you notice anything in the above Scripture that spoke about touching the trees?

Yes

No

Keep your answer in mind, as we will circle back to it in a bit.

Now read Genesis 2:15-17.

God lovingly places the man in the garden of Eden.  Prior to his placement, the trees were wonderfully planted and grew.  God prepared everything the man would need for nourishment. As the man was being placed in the garden, God commanded him regarding what trees were for consumption and what tree was off limits. 

Fill in the blanks:

And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are ________ to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must _____ eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will __________ die.”

From the beginning of time, God has given His children free will.  He instructed the man on what tree to eat from and what tree to avoid.  Notice He said, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden”.  After stating the freedom, He clearly told of the consequence of not following His command. God will always instruct us in our ways, but He will not force us.  He loves us so deeply and dearly, and He desires the same kind of love in return. 

Have you ever tried to force someone to love you? If so, briefly record the circumstances and results below.

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Forced love is not real love.  It never has been and never will be.

Read Genesis 2:20-25.

The Lord recognizes that the man, Adam, was alone.  He knew prior to the creation that relationships are essential.  He lovingly created the woman, Eve.  He did not create her to be second best.  He did not create her to be Adam’s subordinate.  God created Eve with great love for her and for Adam.

Fill in the blank.

Genesis 2:20b: but for the man, no ___________ was found corresponding to him.

In our society, we view the word “helper” to mean an assistant.  As a former teacher, I had a classroom helper each day.  The classroom helper assisted me in tasks I needed, such as sharpening pencils, taking notes to the office, passing out papers, etc.  We often view a helper as second best, not having the same standing as the one being helped.

The Hebrew word for helper is Ezer.  Ezer is used 21 times in the Old Testament.  It refers to Eve 2 times, the powerful nations that Israel calls on for help when they are being attacked or threatened to be attacked, and 16 times as God our help.

God does not work for us; He comes alongside us when we are in need.  It is with love He does this, not any idea or thought or subordinacy. 

In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Paynes states it this way:

“The noun used her [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest ‘helper’ as in ‘servant’, but help, savior, rescuer, protector as in ‘God is our help’.  In no other occurrence in the Old Testament does this refer to an inferior, but always a superior or an equal …’help’ expresses that the woman is a help/strength who rescues or saves man.”

God did not create the woman to be the man’s servant.  He created her to serve with the man.  That’s a huge difference!  God’s love for women is as strong as His love for men.  Many would like us to believe otherwise.  Thankfully, God’s truths trump man’s truths a million times over.

Notice that God gave the man commands regarding the garden of Eden prior to bringing the woman to life. 

Continue forward in Genesis and read 3:1-10.

And then there was the fall.  I pointed out that God gave the man garden commands before offering the woman as his ezer.  Does this mean that the man did not communicate God’s desires to the woman?  I mean, come on, we all know men struggle with communication!  Maybe he thought he told her but didn’t.  He could have sworn he told her as he was watching a game on TV.  A story as old as time!

All joking aside, the man most certainly communicated God’s commands to the woman.  Everything in the garden of Eden was perfect. The relationship between the two was surely beautiful and wonderful.  Think about it-God walked with the couple throughout the garden often.  Imagine the conversations they had.  There had to be laughter, love, joking, as well as serious talk.  The three must have had such great fellowship.

Just for fun, describe a scene between the three. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The fall was just as much the man’s fault as it was the woman’s.  Genesis 3:1 describes the serpent (the enemy) as the most cunning.

The Oxford Dictionary defines cunning as “having or showing skill in achieving one’s end by deceit or evasion”.

The enemy knew exactly what he was doing.  He was well aware that if he used a sprinkling of truth mixed with a sprinkling of a lie, he would have the couple eating out of his hands, literally.

Write the question the enemy poses to the couple at the end of 3:1.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Did God really say…

Did God really say that you had to be true to your marriage if you no longer feel love?

Did God really say you can’t live with your partner if you aren’t married?

Did God really say that we need to look to Him in all things? Shouldn’t we be able to rely on ourselves?

Did God really say that we are to serve others over ourselves?

Write out a few that come to your mind.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reread verses 2:16-17 and compare it to verses 3:2-3.  What difference do you see?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yep!  God never said the couple couldn’t touch the tree.  The woman certainly knew God’s command.  She walked with Him in the garden for goodness sakes!  She let her guard down and allowed the presence of evil to swoon her.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)

Can you think of a time when you let your guard down and quickly fell out of step with God’s decrees?  It can happen in the blink of an eye.  We must continuously guard our hearts and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us.  I have found that praying for discernment and leading really helps in my day-to-day connections with others.

Reread Genesis 2:17 and Genesis 3:4.

The enemy blatantly lied to the woman, and she fell for it.  Sadly, how often do we do the same?  We get caught up in a person’s words and perceived care for us, and we fall right into their trap.  It can happen in the snap of a finger.  One minute we are walking with God, and the next we are being wooed by the enemy.  He tricks us with word changes, guilt, shame, and self-absorption.

We see in Genesis 3:4-7 the woman and the man don’t think twice about tasting the fruit.  The allure of wisdom sunk it’s teeth into their pride and they sunk their teeth into the fruit. And everything changed. One bite led to shame.  It led to wanting to hide from God.  Imagine how they must of kicked themselves.  Do you think the phrase, “if only” ran through their minds?  Do you think they made excuses, blamed the other? I’m certain we can all identify with the gut pain a wrong decision causes, especially when we know that God told us to do otherwise. 

 We will explore this more when we discuss throwing ourselves into pits. 

Yes, the enemy wants to pull us from Jesus’ love.  He wants us to feel like we are not lovable, and, in fact, we don’t deserve His love.  Lies. Jesus has loved all of us from the beginning of time.  Nothing can, or ever will, separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39).

Let’s end today by taking in what God did after the couple tasted the fruit.

Read Genesis 3:8-10.

God knew that the couple had taken a bite of the fruit.  He knew they listened to the enemy and chose his lies over God’s truths. 

God showed up anyway.  Think about that.  He didn’t abandon them.  He walked where He knew they would walk.  He still wanted to be with them.  He still wants to be with us.  No amount of shame from our pasts (or presents) will cause Him to leave us.  His love is forever.  The pain you suffered when you were thrown into a pit does not mean you are not loved.  You are loved yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

As you go about your day, hold your head up high.  You are marked by His love forever.

💗,Marci

 

 

Jesus' Pursuit of You

Jesus’ pursuit of us never stops.  He chases us all throughout our lives and desires to catch us no matter where He finds us.  Regardless of our pasts, present, and future lives, He wants us to know His undeniable and unmistakable love.  I promise you that nothing is too hard for Jesus.  You have not done or been anywhere that is a shock to Him.  He can do more than you can even imagine (Eph. 3:20) and I guarantee He will.

You may be thinking that this all sounds good for someone else.  You may feel that you have been away from Jesus or messed up so badly that there is no way that He would pursue you, let alone accept and love you.  This is exactly what the enemy wants you to believe.  This way of thinking keeps us separated from God and this is just what the enemy wants for your life.  Allow me to share pieces of my story.  I don’t share to shame those intertwined in my story.  I offer you glimpses into my life and heart so that you will know nothing halts Jesus’ pursuit of us.  He created you so that He could love you.  In fact, prior to creating you, He knew exactly what your choices and directions would be.  He loves you so much and desires for you to know this fully.  You did not repulse Him prior to creating you, and you haven’t repulsed Him now.

My earliest memories begin prior to the age of five.  They are not joyous ones, but rather ones of shame, anxiety, and guilt.  As far back as I can remember, I was my mother’s mother.  I knew exactly how I was to behave and what I needed to say to protect myself from wrath.  I was very aware that it was my responsibility to take care of my mother’s feelings.  I was not to ever say anything that made her feel uncomfortable.  Sharing my hurts, disappointments, and sadness was never to be done.  I was quite the actress.  As early as age five, I knew how to behave in such a way that kept my mother’s hurt feelings at bay.  She was the master of manipulation, and she lived in a highly decorated world of victimhood.  I understood I was considered a pain and a bother.  I was often told that my name was mud spelled backwards.  I heard this phrase often.  I was called a brat most days.  I was a shame filled child.  Every time an adult looked at me or spoke to me, I just knew they were thinking that I was a stupid, annoying child.

My parents divorced when I was two.  My biological father was not involved in my life at all.  He expected me to reach out to him and create a relationship.  I was told that he was an awful person and had tried to drown me because he did not want a girl.  I have no idea if that is true, but it certainly stung every time I heard it.  Prior to his death about twelve years ago, he wrote me a three-page letter on legal sized paper.  He let me know what a disappointment I was.  He quoted Scripture and tried to convince me that God, too, was disappointed in me. 

I also encountered sexual abuse.  As a young child, I would sleep with the lights on and cover my head with the blanket.  I often put something in front of my bedroom door to alert me to anyone trying to enter my room.  Not only was I the victim of physical sexual abuse, but I was also exposed to pornography and sex talk. 

As I grew into a teenager, I thought the only way to be worthy was to have a boy say it was so.  Unfortunately, my world revolved around having a boyfriend.  I did whatever I thought necessary to have and keep a boyfriend.  I’m sure you can surmise the pain this caused me.  My choices harmed me in more ways than I was aware of.  I forwent friendships in pursuit of boys.  I often spent time alone because I did not create or establish healthy relationships with friends or boys.  This would spiral me into believing I needed to do whatever it took to have a boy notice me.  I was the girl no mom wanted her daughter to be friends or son to date.

As a young adult, I began dating my husband.  It is more than fair to say that we were both a mess waiting to explode.  We married a year after college, and within our first few months of marriage we got pregnant and had our first child.  He was a beautiful child who stole my heart instantly.  By the time he was three months old, he was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect.  His first surgery was when he was six months old, and his second surgery occurred when he was four.  By this stage in my life, I was a crumbled mess.  I had major anxiety that I could barely control.  I was critiqued and criticized often for it.  I felt more alone than ever.  I was afraid to take my eyes off my son.  I could barely catch my breath and function.  I felt more alone than ever.  I suffered two miscarriages prior to our son’s second surgery.  The second miscarriage happened when I was four and a half months pregnant.  I cried often and struggled silently as I cared for my young child.  I found it almost impossible to function.  As time went on, I was told by many people who should have been there for me that I needed to get over it.  I was informed that I was weak and being self-centered.

Praise God, we were blessed with two more wonderful children.  There were several times when my children were young that I contemplated suicide.  I truly believed that my husband and children would be better off without me around.  I felt I hindered their lives because of my struggle with anxiety.  I felt that I was a bother and unlovable.  In fact, I can remember writing out my obituary and who my pall bearers would be.  The love I had for my children stopped me every time from going through with it.  When I would think upon my inability to follow through with it, I berated myself for even stinking at being able to successfully kill myself.

Not too long after I received the letter from my father, I completely shut down and lost it.  My oldest son was in junior high, and my daughter and youngest son were in elementary school.  My children were upstairs and I was downstairs cleaning the kitchen.  A feeling of pure disgust for myself completely overtook me and I began throwing dishes.  I was crying and didn’t have to ability to stop myself.  I was in such pain, but yet so numb.  I clearly remember sitting down on the kitchen floor and struggling to breathe.  I cannot explain it, but I felt a presence cover me and hold me.  It felt like a large human had wrapped his arms around me and was soaking in my pain.  When I think upon it, I can still vividly recall the physical sensations it caused.  My crying quieted.  I didn’t hear any spoken words, but I felt that I was being told it was going to be okay and that I was loved.  I remember quietly repeating, “I just want a daddy”.  I believe Jesus was there and comforting me.

Not long after that, I was invited to a Bible study at the church where my youngest son attended Pre-K.  I was so nervous that people would know my past and think I was a fake.  Something inside of me urged me to go anyway.  Upon hearing God’s word, I was hooked.  I couldn’t, and still can’t, get enough of His words and His love.  He has used me to share His love with others, and I still sometimes quietly say to Him, “Really God?  Me?”  I was such a mess and so broken.  I was sure I was beyond repair and not worthy of any kind of love.  Jesus thought differently.  He pursued me until I said yes.  Looking back upon my life, I see glimpses of His presence and protection.  He never gave up on me.  He never thought me too messed up and used up to forget about me.  I can now confidently say, “I am by beloved and He is mine” (Song of Solomon 2:16).

I have prayed that YOU will be convinced you are worth catching.  Jesus sees you, loves you, and wants you to be His.  He longs to feel you take comfort in Him.  He desires to show you how deeply He loves you.  He looks forward to the day that you and He are in deep relationship with one another, and you talk with Him all day long.  I pray that the words you read and study throughout the coming weeks will transform your heart and soul.  May you know you are worth catching and loving.  Be caught, by friend!

With deepest respect and love,

Marci 💗

Moving Out of the Corner of Pain

There are times in life where we all have wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits.  Life can get overwhelmingly difficult and the word hope is no longer in our vocabulary.  We feel defeated and question our choices, our circumstances, and even our faith.  Times like this can leave us feeling so alone, unheard, and unseen.  

This past year was one of those years for me.  Someone I love experienced some gut-wrenching pain and I crawled into the trenches to support, encourage, and love on this person.  While the experiences did not happen to me personally, watching someone you absolutely love suffer and question his/her existence is devastatingly painful.  At times, life became almost too hard to handle.  Because the person and I were so close, the pain that was felt by my loved one was often turned into hateful anger directed at me.  My level headed mind knew it was just deep-seated pain and was never a personal attack.  I won't lie, there were many times that the anger became too much and it cut my heart into a zillion pieces.  On top of that, I was painfully heartbroken for this person and felt so much anger, betrayal, hurt, etc.  

As I woke each morning, and often throughout the day, I prayed for my loved one.  At first, my prayers were to surround my love, comfort my love, and heal my love.  I prayed that God would set a table before my love in the presence of the enemies.  I prayed that those who caused the pain would suffer greatly and feel exactly what they had inflicted.

As time went on, I realized my prayers were filled with bitterness.  They were also very limiting.  God can do so much more than we can imagine and I needed to praise Him for this, as well as pray loving prayers over the enemies.  At first, I gritted my teeth as I prayed blessings over those who caused such heart devastation.  It was unfathomable to me to pray that those who had caused so much harm would receive blessings.

The more I prayed for them, however, the more God opened my heart to feel empathy and forgiveness.  I began to pray for my loved one to grow closer to God in the pain.  I prayed that my love would recognize God's sovereignty and constant presence, even in the trenches.  I also prayed that the inflicters would know God's love.  I began to realize that those who are hurting hurt others.  I prayed that rather than feeling pain like I originally prayed for, that they would feel freedom and peace.

As God always does, He heard my prayers and answered them.  My loved one has more strength, courage, and drive for life than I ever imagined possible.  My love experienced true feelings of forgiveness and mercy.  There are no grudges, no retaliation hopes, and no ill will.  My love is truly free, joyous, and happy.  So many opportunities have presented themselves and so much growth has taken place.  

While I would never wish for my love to suffer so greatly, so much was gained from this experience.  Life lessons about God, love, forgiveness, strength, and a will to live happily were gained.  I no longer feel anger about the situation, but rather grateful for the growth that has taken place.  

Life lessons often come from pain.  We can stay stuffed in a corner with ridiculously bitter hearts or we can open our hearts to God's leading, growing, and healing.  Am I ever grateful that my love chose the latter!

You may be wondering what became of the offenders.  God is definitely at work in their lives.  A couple of the people actually accepted responsibility and apologized.  That is huge!  I continue to pray for them and have great hope that they will feel God's love and mercy with such force that they will know the source.  My love offers them forgiveness and mercy, which I truly believe they feel.  

If you find yourself in the trenches and feel alone, abandoned, hopeless, and helpless, know that you are not alone.  God is with you and waiting for you to ask for help and guidance.  Pour your heart out to Him and trust that He hears you.  He created you to love you, not to hurt you.  Often, lessons hurt like major heck, but the growth that comes is worth it.  We will never grow hiding away with bitter hearts.  Growth and healing are results of lots of knee time in prayer.  Be honest in your pain and in your prayers.  Look for the teeny blessings that God provides for you each day.  Those teeny blessings add up.

One moment at a time in trust and you will feel and see God direct your heart to Him.

Loving you so much-

Marci

Living Beyond our Pasts and into the Futrure

Do you have a closet of skeletal bones that if the door was opened, you would be horrified?  Do you have past sins that pain you when you think upon them?

Yeah, me too.  My heart aches at some of my past choices and sins.  Sometimes I think upon them with such shame and wonder what in the world was I thinking!?

Actually, I know exactly what I was thinking when I was buried in the sins that cause me great shame.  I was a broken mess searching for clarity, worth, and anyone to save me.  I looked for anyone and anything to validate me and tell me that I mattered.

Any chance you can relate?

If I think about it hard enough, I can still feel the terrible gnawing at my heart.  The quiet, but powerful begging for someone to love me.  Gracious, there are times I just want to give that old girl a hug.

I am proof - as you may be too - that ugly messes can turn into beautiful and mighty workers for Christ.

There are still times, however, that the stupid devil tries to get me to feel the bitterness of shame and regret.  The pest screams at me when I'm feeling down that I will never matter because of my past.  He likes to tell me that if my biological father didn't love me, no one else really does or will either.

He's a liar.  In fact, he's the father of lies.  He has no truth in him.  You and I should NEVER believe him.

If  I feel the heavy heat of shame try and overtake my heart, I have to remind myself that Jesus' ways are not my ways.  His thinking is not mine.  He isn't seated on His beautiful throne reliving my disgusting sins.  He is not reliving yours either.  He is filling His heart each moment with love for us. He is looking upon our obedience and desire to live for Him and saying, "That's my girl!  I have faith in you, sweet child."

You may be reading this and thinking, "How on earth can you be so sure?  You have no idea of the sins I have in my locked up closet."

I know because Jesus tells us it's so.  Allow me to show you-

{If you have a Bible available, read the entire account in Luke 7:36-50.}

Luke 7:36-50 tells us that Jesus was at the home of a Pharisee dining when a woman who was labeled a sinner came in and wept at His feet.  She cleansed Jesus' feet with her painful tears and rubbed her very expensive fragrant oil on them.  The Pharisee was outwardly horrified and disgusted.  He asked Jesus if He knew what kind of woman was touching Him and how on earth He could allow it.

The town had labeled the woman a sinner.  You can be certain they had names for her and liked to make themselves feel superior by condemning her.  We are all sinners so I am led to believe that she had a very open sin that the town knew about.  The Scriptures do not detail her sin but if my guess is correct, I would say she was a prostitute.  I would bet she had a harried past and felt great shame and embarrassment.  I would also bet that many in the town treated her like yesterday's trash and looked down upon her.

Jesus sternly tells the Pharisee that those who are forgiven much, love much.  Jesus also assures the woman that she is forgiven. 

Read Jesus' words and allow them to penetrate to your core.  If needed, write them on an index card and keep it with you to read often until you know without a doubt that those sweet words are spoken directly to you and about you.

Luke 7:50

And He said to (insert your name),  "Your faith has saved you.  Go in peace."

He does not shame her or validate the Pharisee.  He actually calls the Pharisee out for being...well a Pharisee.  

In Luke 7:44-47, Jesus basically calls the Pharisee out for being so condescending, rude, and pious.  I love it!

Jesus isn't about to let people condemn His loves and get away with it.  He stands for us every single time.

Let me show you a few verses that prove my statement above.

Luke 6:37-38

Do not judge and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure - pressed down, shaken together, and running over - will be poured into your lap.  For the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  

John8:7

When they persisted in questioning Him, He stood up and said to them, "The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her."

James 4:11-12

Don't criticize one another brothers.  He who criticizes and brother or judges his brother criticizes the law and judges the law.  But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.  There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy.  But who are you to judge your neighbor?

See what I mean - Jesus doesn't take judging and condemning lightly.  When you experience them, know that Jesus sees and doesn't like it.  Nobody messes with His girls!

The best part of this story is told to us from the account in Matthew 26:13-

I assure you:  Wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her.

Jesus assures us that our faith will be remembered, not our sins.  Our legacies will be based on our faith and devotion to Christ, not on our harried pasts that make our hearts heavy at times.

Isn't that an awesome balm for our hearts?!  I don't know about you, but that is beautiful music to my heart!  He takes our uglies and turns them into our beauties.  He takes our past (our testimonies) and uses them to show the glory of His love and Kingdom. 

Now that is some amazing mercy and grace!  Let's all shout amen and hallelujah!

While many of us wish we could erase our past sins, they are actually what have caused our hearts to be so devoted to our Savior.  Because we have been forgiven much, we love Him so very much.  He cleaned up our messes and threw His loving arms around us.  He welcomes us into His great Kingdom with open arms and a love that spins our heads with great devotion.

Be encouraged, sweet friends.  You are loved with a great fierceness by your King.

Loving you all will an overflowing heart of adoration-

Marci

The Purity of Jesus' Love

Jesus led me to the book of Song of Solomon recently and I am head over heels in love with it and it's writer.  To be honest, I never really dove into this book because I didn't see Jesus in it.  I wrongly believed it was a book about the love of a husband and wife.  Yes, it definitely is but it is so much more.

Song of Solomon encompasses many truths and themes.  All of them are deep and lavished with God's crazy, unfailing love for us.  In this post, we will focus on the theme of purity.  Before you rush to close this site, allow me the chance to show you that our past has nothing to do with our purity.  Jesus is not about guilt and shame nor am I.  We will cover guilt and shame in this post and I will hopefully prove to you that you need not feel either.

I am so grateful for the love and mercy Jesus has shown me in spite of, and in the midst of, my awful messes.  He took this girl full of shame and sin and gently wiped me clean and put a crown of beauty on my head. 

If you think your past defines you, I can 100% guarantee it doesn't.  If you are knee deep in sexual sin at this very moment, I promise you Jesus is waiting with an open heart to wash you clean.  He sees a beauty when He looks at you.  Don't let the lies in your head convince you any differently.

Now let's dive in and learn about the purity of Jesus' love.  May you be blessed and find freedom.

The beauty of Song of Solomon is that it frees our hearts and allows us to be shameless and wildly passionate in our pursuit of the love Jesus has for us.  Too many people believe that being a Christian means that life will be a bore.  Sadly, they subscribe to the notion that Jesus girls are prim, proper, lacking laughter, and in bed by 8pm!  Thankfully, that is just not true.  Women on fire for Jesus laugh often, love big, feel passion, wear bright colors, and stay up late.

Having a relationship with Jesus leads to untamed love.  Untamed love leads to the abundant life Jesus promises in John 10:10.  Girlfriend, get ready to fall crazy in love as you learn that Jesus is beyond crazy in love with you.  He is ravished by you!

The word purity is synonymous with freedom and freedom in synonymous with joy.

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines the word pure as unmoved with any other matter...free from dust, dirt, or taint...free from harshness...free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes.

1 John 1:7,9 reads...
But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from ALL sin.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  

In order to be cleansed from sin, we must confess our sins to Jesus.

Confession is more than saying the sin we committed.  It involves being sorrowful for it.  Sorrowful is not the same as shamed.  Hear me when I say that please.  To be sorrowful is to be sorry and desiring to turn away from the sin. 

Shame is from the devil.  Sorrowful confession is a gift from Jesus.  They are complete opposites.  If you feel ugly, broken, and condemned, I can assure you that is not from sweet Jesus.  Tattle to Jesus about what the devil is telling you and then watch Him take action for His baby girl!

As we confess our sins, we must trust that we are being cleansed and purified.  Look back at the definition for pure.  It states that to be pure is to be free from what weakens and pollutes us.  Sin does both, but Jesus takes His love rag and shines us back to a beautiful woman of purity.  He does this because he adores us.  He knows what sin causes and He doesn't want us to suffer.  He already did that for us.  There is no need to repeat the torture.

Read Isaiah 1:18.  Jesus is speaking this to you and over you.
Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool.  If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land.

JUST LIKE THAT - JESUS PURIFIES US AND WE ARE AS WHITE AS SNOW.

Now let's talk about the guilt and shame the word purity can conjure up in many of us.  I have no doubt that many women reading this do not feel pure.  You may feel trapped by past or present sexual sin.  You may have suffered sexual abuse and have never felt pure. 

Sexual sins and abuse can leave us feeling tainted and used.  Our eyes may flow with tears at the desperate desire to feel purity, but as much as we try we just feel dirty, shamed and rotten.  I write this with an understanding and loving heart.  You see, I have been in the pit of sexual sin.  I know what shame wears like.  It is a heavy burden that leaves us feeling weak and torn down.  I never thought I would feel pure.

But God...

God rescued me from my sins and shame.  If He can cleanse me and create life in me, I have no doubt He will do it for you too.  In fact, I am beyond convinced He will.  He wants nothing more than for you to feel and know His love and redemption.  He longs to make you as white as snow.

Let's look at Matthew 26:26-28...
As they were eating, Jesus took bread. blessed and broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take and eat it; this is My body."  Then He took  a cup, and after giving thanks, He gave it to them and said, "Drink from it, all of you.  For this is My blood that establishes a new covenant; it is shed for many for the forgiveness of sins."

This Scripture passage is the Last Supper.  The beautiful first communion is with Jesus, by Jesus, for Jesus, and for all of us.

Jesus knew he would soon be the sacrificial lamb.  He lovingly and willingly went to the cross for each one of us.  He was aware of the suffering and pain He would endure.  Yet, He did it anyway.  That, my friend, is what pure love looks like.

I write this with the deepest love and compassion for all of you.  He did not go to the cross so we could wallow in our guilt and shame.  He did it out of pure love.  His pure love leads to our purity.  Period.

Notice that in verse 28 Jesus clearly stated that He was pouring out His blood for the forgiveness of sins.  Let that sink into your sweet heart.  Jesus knows and loves you with a deep and passionate heart.  Won't you allow Him to cleanse and purify you?  He's waiting with open arms.

Psalm 43:4
Then I will come to the alter of God, to God, my greatest joy.  I will praise you with the lyre, God is my God.

As I write this, the song "How Can it Be" by Lauren Daigle sings to me.  Oh pure one, go listen to it and let the words invade your heart.  Raise your hands in the air and ignore the cleansing tears that roll down your beautiful face.  You, sweet child of God, are forgiven and pure.

Before we conclude, allow me to show you the biblical definition of purity.

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for purity is 'niqqayon'.  It is an emptying out or being clean.  Biblestudytools.com states the following and it is profound.

"Purity is opposed to being guilty."  Let that penetrate your brain and find its way to your heart.  God purifies you when you confess.  Once you are washed clean, there is NO guilt.  God does not call you guilty.  He calls you pure.  The two cannot exist together. 

If you struggle with guilt, take it to God.  confess your heart and trust Him to remove the guilt. 

Rest in His purification.

I pray that your heart is full with the knowledge of your purity.  No matter what you have done or gone through, you are clean and pure.  The love and promises from Song of Solomon were penned with you in mind.  Remember, Jesus is ravished by your purity and beauty.  You, dear one, are passionately loved by your King.

Loving you with a full heart-
Marci

5 Ways to Avoid the Trap of Comparison

Comparison is an ugly game.  It creates feelings of superiority or failure.  Either are detrimental to our spiritual and mental health.  Comparison is the devil's game and his intention is to pull our focus off of God and onto ourselves. 

God created us in His image and with a purpose in mind.  He did not mess up on the day He created us. He knew perfectly well who we were to be.  And I can promise you this - we weren't meant to be like anyone else.   His ways are vast and way beyond our human thinking.  We are wonderfully made and He desires for us to know this well (Psalm 139:14).  

So with that in mind {and hopefully our hearts}, let's learn some sure fire ways to avoid falling for the enemy's ridiculous game.  He will rue the day he tried to tempt us to compare ourselves rather than celebrate who we are in Christ!

1.  Begin each morning with Jesus.

Each morning provides us a day to do wonderful things for the Kingdom of God.  We may never know how we are impacting others, but God surely does!  In order to be the good and faithful servant we desire to be, we must set our hearts and minds on Jesus.  When we do, we will be less likely to compare ourselves to others because we are filled with His love and mindset.  Beginning our days with Jesus not only prepares our mind and heart to combat comparison, but it shows the devil that you are not going to play is idiotic game.

Mark 1:35

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark out, He got up, went out, and made His way to a deserted place.  And He was praying there.

Jesus knew the importance of beginning His day with prayer.  Talking to His Father prepared Him for the day ahead.  If Jesus did it, then we surely should too!

2.  Keep a small spiral notebook with Scriptures that speak to your heart about God's love, your worth, and your purpose.

Hebrews 4:12 tells us that God's word is alive and active, sharper than any double edge sword.  Have you ever pictured that image in your sweet head?  A double edged sword is pretty powerful!  No matter what direction an enemy came at you, you would have protection and fight.  That is what God's word is.  It is powerful at fighting off the enemy and protecting us from his nasty schemes.  When we pack God's word into our hearts, we have power.  We are called to use His word to fight.  Fighting is not a passive event.  It requires strength, determination, and power.  When the enemy tries to defeat us with comparison, we can fight back with God's alive and active word.  He calls us to use His word against that nasty little tyrant!  Read from your tiny little notebook throughout the day.  When you feel compelled to enter the comparison arena, you can call to mind God's words and fight off the nasty thoughts.  Rise above them and be a mighty princess warrior shielded and protected with the beautiful double edged sword given to you by your loving Father.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is alive and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow.  It is able to judge the ideas and thoughts of the heart.

3.  When you feel comparison creep up on you, take it to God immediately.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every thought captive to obey Christ.  This means we are to make sure our thoughts and mindsets line up with the word of God.  Comparing ourselves to others does not line up with God's word or plan for our lives.  We are created in a unique way; each possessing gifts and talents that promote God's Kingdom.  We must ask the Holy Spirit to alert our hearts when we are falling victim to comparison so that we can turn our eyes back to Jesus and remember who we are in Him.  Jesus is ready and waiting to help us when we call on Him.  Ask Him to help you see your worth, talents, and gifts.  Ask Him to allow you to see yourself as He does - cherished, loved, and amazing.

Isaiah 65:24

Even before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear.

4.  Recognize your gifts and talents and embrace them.

As stated above, each of us has a specific talent that God has given us to serve His Kingdom.  YOU were created to make a difference for God.  We each have been entrusted and gifted.  Unfortunately, our gifts go unused when we look to others' gifts and wish we had theirs.  That, my friend, is just what the enemy is banking on.  When our talents go unused, we are not serving God and His Kingdom.  The devil thinks he is pretty snazzy when he sees us doing this.  Let's show him that we are daughters of the One and Only King and embrace our talents.  The devil can't have our gifts!  Let's be proud of our gifts and talents and use them to bear so much fruit that the enemy is disgusted and walks away with his head hanging down!

James 1:16-17

Don't be deceived, my dearly loved brothers (and sisters).  Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above.

5.  Limit your time scrolling through social media.

We all do it.  We aimlessly scroll through social media.  We may do it because we are bored or because we are curious.  Either way, it can lead to a big nasty case of comparison.  Let's be honest, people are posting their best selves.  Everyone's families are perfect, so screams social media.  We aren't privy to authenticity when we are peeking into others lives through social media.  This is a sure fire way to fall into the comparison pit.  We must limit our time viewing other's lives.  We must keep in check that we aren't seeing reality and be aware when our hearts are being pulled in an ugly direction.  Too often, social media takes the place of God.  Just because someone is posting Scripture alongside their perfect life, doesn't mean reading their posts is worshipping the Lord.  True worship comes from heart to heart time with God.  

2 Corinthians 10:12

For we don't dare classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves.  But in measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves to themselves, they lack understanding.

Comparison is an ugly thing.  It pull our focus from Jesus onto ourselves every stinking time.  I can guarantee that!  We must always be aware because our enemy lurks around like a lion waiting to devour God's children.  He knows if he can make us feel badly about ourselves, we will not work for the beautiful Kingdom of God.  We must keep our hearts and minds on the One who gifted us.  

You've got this!  Each and every time you feel the pull, use this list to get your heart back on the One who loves you like crazy.  You are a beautiful creation with so much to offer.  YOU were created to impact the Kingdom and make a difference.  Let that sink into your  precious heart.  

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

I love you all with the most tender heart-

Marci

The Joys of Obedience

We often hear that obedience to God is our ticket to living in freedom and joy.  I raise my hands to the heavens because I could go for a strong dose of freedom and joy over certain areas of my life.  If you are breathing, I'm confidant that you, too, could use some life changing freedom as well.

As I sat in prayer this morning, I realized that maybe I don't even truly know what obedience looks like.  I have a confession to make - I have really struggled with a pit of fear and worry.  I have made the pit part of my life and now it just shows up and thinks I've invited it in.  In reality, I guess I have.  I have allowed my mind to think upon the worry and play it out in my head a million times a day.  Oh how I wish I were exaggerating....

I pray daily for God to release me from this mindset.  I even beg for freedom some days.  Can you relate?  You may not be struggling with fear, but do you feel held captive by something in your life?  Captivity can seep into our marrow so deeply until we decorate it and call it normal.  Anything that prohibits us from pure joy and freedom is called captivity.  The definition of captivity is "the state or period of being held, imprisoned, enslaved, or confined".  (Dictionary.com)

Jesus came to set the captives free and give us a life of abundance.  I realized that I am the hold out, not Him.  He longs to give us the desires of our hearts when they line up with His will.  I truly believe Him when he says:

A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy.  I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.  John 10:10

That thief is none other than our enemy.  He wants to steal anything good that Jesus offers us.  His lies convince us to search for freedom outside of Jesus.  Every time we buy into his lies, we find ourselves in captivity.  In order to be set free, we must whole heartedly be obedient to God.  Period.

But what is obedience?  How can we truly be obedient to Christ and live the abundant life He offers us?

Hollman's Illustrated Bible Dictionary defines obedience as to hear God's word and act accordingly.

Sounds good, right?  But how do we implement this into our lives?  For years, I have heard that I needed to be obedient to Christ, but I don't think I ever sat and really examined what obedience looks like.  I assumed that if I was living as God instructed, I was being obedient.  After researching the definition and passages in the Bible, I believe it goes way deeper.

After dissecting the definition of obedience, I came up with 3 ways that we can become obedient children of God.

1.  Prayer

We must pray daily and consistently.  To pray, is to have conversation with God.  Just as we talk with loved ones, talk with Jesus.  It is not meant to be fancy.  In fact, He doesn't call for us to be theologians and use elaborate terms.  Jesus longs to hear from us right as we are.  Simply, prayer is just talking openly and honestly with God.  Nothing you say will shock Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

Pray constantly

I believe that praying constantly means having our hearts set on Jesus.  He does not expect us to neglect our duties, our loves, and ourselves.  Having a mindset for Christ is essentially praying because we are doing everything for Him and through Him.  For example, when you prepare a meal for your family, you do it because you love them and want to offer nourishment in a delicious way.  Loving your family through cooking for them is having a heart for Jesus because He gave you your family and expects you to take care of them.  When you do so with a loving and kind heart, you are in the mindset of Christ.

As we pray (stay in the mindset of Jesus), we must recognize the ways He speaks to us.  He desires a relationship with us.  A relationship by definition is between two people.  Jesus speaks to us in so many ways.  Unfortunately, all too often we don't hear because we never slow our minds down enough to hear Him or recognize Him.  Jesus speaks to us through His written word, through others, through song, through that still small voice we hear - just to name a few.

Prayer is obedience to God because it causes us to think upon Him and His ways.  It creates a relationship and allows His love to richly flow into our lives.  When we seek Him and invite Him into our lives through prayer, He always shows up.

Jeremiah 29:13

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart.

2.  Trust Jesus in all things

Trust is giving our whole hearts to Jesus, no matter what.  Trust means relinquishing the idea of control and fully opening our hands and giving Him everything we are holding on to.  This can be a tough one because we are under the falsehood that we are best at orchestrating our lives.  Letting go of our need to be in control can be very scary.  What if we hand the reigns over and then life doesn't go the way we planned?  I have discovered in the areas of my life that I totally trust Jesus, I have perfect peace.  Believe me, those areas were far from peaceful before I decided to trust Him and allow Him to lead me.  I am in awe and amazed at the beautiful blessings He has given me because of my decision to let go and trust.

Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my hearts TRUSTS in Him and I am helped.

Isaiah 40:31

Those who TRUST in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.

Can I get an amen!?!  I love the Lord's promises.  I think we could all use some soaring on wings like eagles.  

3.  Surrender our lives to Jesus

To surrender means to give up control.  When we surrender to God, we set aside our plans and eagerly seek His.  We look to His ways and desires and align our thoughts, actions, and beliefs with Him.  We live to serve Him and know Him.  As we go about our days, we can't help but share His love with those we encounter.  We pray for discernment and hearts that will recognize our sinful ways.  When we completely surrender to Christ, our hearts will be filled with the joy of the Lord and we will find great strength through Him.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.

Surrendering takes effort and daily action.  Just saying we surrender will not do.  We must be proactive and mindful every single day.  Philippians 4:4-9 is a wonderful instruction manual for surrender.  We will be wise to write it on our hearts and walk in it daily.

Philippians 4:4-8

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your graciousness be know to everyone.  The Lord is near.  Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Growing in our obedience will take time.  Beautiful flowers do not overtake gardens over night.  They grow slowly and gracefully and before we know it, their radiance shines so brightly that we can't help but be attracted to them.  God sees our desires and efforts to be obedient children of His.  He knows our deepest hearts and longs to help us along our journey.  All we have to do is ask for His guidance, strength, and wisdom.  It may be difficult to become completely obedient, but I know it will be so worth it.  Nothing feels as good as freedom and joy in Christ.  

Won't you join me on my obedience journey?  Oh the joys that await us....

Loving each and every one of you beauties-

Marci