Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Kids are like a Jenga game



I so enjoy watching my little one play basketball.  The games are exciting and seeing him having fun makes my mama heart so happy.  He becomes a serious 10 year old and keeps his eyes on his opponent AND the scoreboard.

On Saturday, the game was so close and exciting.  Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.  The people in the stands were cheering on their teams and the kids seemed to be having fun.  All seemed to be right in the gym.

And then....

A mama yelled at her son when he got the ball stolen from him.  She yelled loudly and very rudely.  Suddenly, the gym froze in place and it seemed as if a spotlight was on her child.  The child hung his head in shame and embarrassment. 

It was heartbreaking.  I felt tears well up in my eyes and wanted to run on the court and tell him he was doing a great job and not to worry about a turnover.  

Thankfully, his coach told him he was doing a great job and even the ref told him it was just a game and to have fun.  Sadly, those words didn't impact him the way his mama's words did.

The truth is, it's just a game.  It's meant to be fun and teach the boys how to work together as a team and grow in their skills and confidence.  

Will it matter in 10 years that he turned over the ball?  Absolutely not.  Will her words and his embarrassment be felt in 10 years?  Most certainly.  Was it worth it??

When we got home, my son came up to me and asked if I would ever do that to him.  I assured him I would NEVER yell at him and I would always be proud of him, regardless if they won or lost.  I am proud of him for going out on a basketball court in front of a stand full of people and playing a game that he loves.  I am proud of him for trying and being a good teammate.  I am proud of him for listening to his coaches and being respectful.

Kids are like a game of Jenga.  One wrong move, and they fall down and are crushed.  NOTHING is worth crushing our children over.  

May we keep ourselves in check and realize what is truly important.  May we build them up rather than tear them down.  Give your babies a hug today and let them know you are so proud of them and LOVE being their mama. :)




26 comments:

  1. oh how sad. i can't even imagine how that little guy felt out there in front of anyone. i know i would've been hurt and embarrased and i'm an adult, imagine his little heart. you're so right, nothing is worth crushing our children over.

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  2. My heart is aching for that poor little boy! And you can see by how your little man came and asked you if you would ever do that to him that her actions impacted not only him, but the other children as well. :0( It also makes me wonder as a mom - if she would speak like that to him in a crowd of people, how does she speak to him in private?

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  3. My kiddos play basketball too. It's so hard to hear a parent shout something out that is hurtful. Such a good point that kids are like Jenga. =) Glad I found your blog today. I'm looking forward to following.

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  4. Ugh, you just gave me some words of wisdom to live by! We had a terrible soccer experience this winter after a wonderful experience in the fall. I admit I let my frustration about the game take over several times, and I was ashamed. I wasn't upset at Evan....just the whole experience with the organization. He seemed to give up very early and stopped even trying, and I admit I verbalized my frustration about his not trying and giving up. I try to tell him and show him how proud I am, but I know my words of frustration were loudly heard by him. I hope I never again act in such a way that may hurt or crush his spirit. Thank you as always for your love and wisdom! Missed you on here, but I know you are putting important things first!

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  5. Unreal. I would be so upset to witness a mother publicly hurting her child's heart like that. :(

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  6. Oh my gosh. That's so sad! I'm sure the little boy was just devastated. Poor thing!

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  7. ugh!! Just one of those moments... where you learn a lesson and it doesn't have to be you that made the mistake. Praying that I don't lose my mind in a hot moment and make the same mistake... but it could happen... love the lesson! Hope that mama can learn from her mistake.

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  8. I loved watching my boys play sports, but I saw too many times just the behavior you describe here. I also heard parents yell at kids who weren't their own. That is also infuriating! Sports can be such a good thing, but some of the hardest lessons my boys learned were through games with balls. I would have to say those were some of my hardest lessons too! When our kids hurt, we hurt. I feel sorry for the boy who was yelled at and his mom. She must have her own issues!

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  9. such a good post- it is definitely not worth it. and i love your description of it as a jenga game.

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  10. What a great lesson learned. Hopefully his mother will learn this lesson VERY soon.
    Lisa :O)

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  11. I so agree, Marci! Very well said. Over the years, I'm sure that I have said some things that I regret. I know I have. But I pray that I learn from them and grow as a woman and a parent, and now that I do better.
    nancy

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