Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Inspiration Wednesday....Beauty for Ashes


 
Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Lord is on Me,
because the Lord has anointed Me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives
and freedom to the prisoners;

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of our God's vengeance;
to comfort all who mourn,

to provide for those who mourn in Zion;
to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
festive oil instead of mourning,
and splendid clothes instead of despair.
And they will be called righteous trees,
planted by the Lord
to glorify Him.

As I began praying yesterday for today's inspiration I began telling God all the things I could write about.  I would get excited about one, but then the idea would quickly fizzle and another one would pop into my head.  When I woke this morning I was pretty sure what I would write about, but the Lord had a different plan.  You see, I struggle with worthiness.  I wasn't sure I wanted to share this with anyone, but God placed it on my heart to write about it because it may just touch someone who needs it.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, broken home.  I do not use those words lightly.  I do not plan on going into too much detail, as I don't want to bring shame to those involved.  However, I feel I need to give enough information to be helpful.  My parents divorced when I was very young.  After a few years, my brother was sent to live with my father.  My mother and I moved five hours away and rarely did we see my brother.  My father never contacted me except to send a gift on my birthday and Christmas.  My mother dated quite a bit and more than one man lived in our home (not at the same time).  All types of abuse assaulted me as a child and into adulthood. 

Needless to say, I felt unloved.  I did things I am ashamed of and wish I could take back.  I knew about God, but I did not know God.  I desperately wanted, needed to be loved.  I searched and searched, but honestly never found real love.  The things I thought were love were certainly not. 

I struggled into my adulthood and tried to make humans my savior.  It never worked, of course.  I was invited to a Bible study and it changed my life.  I could not get enough of studying God's Word.  I found love and it was the real deal.  The Bible speaks about a peace washing over you and your life being changed.  I cannot even tell you how much truth that is.  I fell in love with my real Savior and life has never been the same.  I made a choice.  I was an injured child, but I did not have to be a bleeding adult. 

Yes, I still struggle from time to time, but I now lean on my sweet Jesus for comfort.  I have learned that people and circumstances do not get to define me.  My worth comes from the one and only Jesus Christ.

If you struggle with self worth, know that there is a love like no other who desires to fill you up with good.  He can turn your ashes into something beautiful.  Your worthlessness can turn to worthiness.  Because, regardless of what your sweet mind thinks, Jesus knows you are worth everything to Him.

Psalm 30:11
You turned my lament into dancing;
You removed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Death will no longer exist;
grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer,
because the previous things have passed away.

My babes are so precious to me but, more importantly, they are precious to God.  May they never doubt their worth.

13 comments:

  1. This post spoke deeply to me. I, too, was an injured child. I've struggled with feeling unloved...unworthy. Even today, I often look at my amazing husband and wonder, 'how could he love me?'

    God has bound up the wounds of my heart, but that doesn't mean the scars are gone. While I celebrate being a new creation, I don't forget all that he's delivered me from. I don't think we are meant to forget that. The scripture tells us to remember how the Lord delivered us from bondage.

    You are a beautiful soul and I am truly glad God brought out paths together.

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    1. You are so kind. You fill my heart with such joy. Xoxo

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  2. :) Marci, beautiful! I was never abused physically, but also have a story of struggling to understand that I am lov-able. Accept-able. I was told that I was, but I was never able to understand and/or accept the truth. That's what a huge part of my 31 days will be about... understanding my identity in Christ. :) lovely.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. It can be so hard to feel our worth in Christ when the world is telling us otherwise. We have to believe we are His. I truly believe He gives us other believers to encourage us as we do this thing called life. Chin up! Xoxo

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  3. Beautiful post Marci! He is truly a loving God no matter what we may have done.....what a wonderful God we serve!

    Hugs, Tami

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    1. Thanks....you are so right -no matter what. Xoxo

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  4. Marci--thanks so much for writing this! I grew up in a divorced home, too. I still struggle with it after all these years! I am so glad I found your blog through the Southern Mama blog hop.

    I am your newest follower. I would love it if you stopped over at my blog.

    Amy
    www.1001tears.blogspot.com

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  5. Divorce is a painful thing. It affects so many people. Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm headed to yours. :-)

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  6. Wow- What a post. I can so totally relate to your feelings, been there and felt that way. And Faithful Jesus keeps reminding me of His love for me. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us - it was such a blessing, Lisa :O)

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  7. Thank you. It was difficult stepping out and opening myself up. However, I want to be real and true. Your kind words make my openness worth it. I love that we can all come together, share our hearts, and support each other. I know God is smiling at us. Xoxo

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  8. Stopping by from the "Follow Me Wednesday"!
    Cute blog! :) New follower!

    xoxo
    Anni // Grapefruitprincess ReLoaded

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  9. So true. I am with you. That is why I named my blog Tales of Beauty for Ashes. I praise God that He is constantly in the process of taking our ashes and making something beautiful.

    Girl you are SO valuable - just a reminder from a fellow blogger! :)

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  10. I love the name of your blog and so enjoy visiting it. :-). Thank you, your words touched my heart....YOU are valuable too!

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I love connecting with you all through comments. Your words bring my heart joy.